Poke the Bear With a Stick

I kinda woke up on the grumpy side of the bed today.



But I think that's because the grumpy side had a five year old standing there who was calling out the time to me as each minute passed.

Him: Mommy, it's 6:03.

Me: Nathan, go away.

Him: Mommy, now it's 6:04.

Me: Nathan, if you know what is good for you, you will go away. NOW.

Him: Mommy, it's 6:05 and it's our park day today.

Me: GROWL!!



All together now....

Ten on Tuesday

1. It concerns me that the nightly airings of "Friends" feature ads for Boniva on a regular basis. I guess it's better than the ads for solutions to clinical depression that they used to run. Therefore, according to Channel 13, "Friends" fans aren't depressed anymore-our bones just might shatter into dust.

2. Monday has been my favorite day of the week for a long time because of band rehearsal (and goofing off with Russell) but since adding the Thursday Park Date with new friends I met through Nathan's school, Monday is gonna need to step up it's game.

3. I have a cleaning bug. The bad news is that it seems to last for about 15 minute periods. The good news is that is strikes multiple times a day.

4. Last night while getting frozen yogurt (aka "yooooooooogurt") Amy had to remind me that I was married and 31. And that my yogurt server could not be my new boyfriend. It was at second glance that I realized I was seeing him through yogurt covered glasses. And that he was probably jailbait.

5. Today I don't want to be the Parent....I want to be the Fun Aunt or Babysitter or Grandma.

6. I don't understand Toejam (or, as a friend's daughter calls it, Toe Jelly) in babies. Where are they walking around to get get all that junk inbetween their toes?

7. Kindergarten Registration is tomorrow.

8. Tomorrow is also the day I break down and cry over the fact that I have a Kindergartener.

9. The water bottles on my nightstand have organized themselves...


10: And, apparently, THEY ARE ALSO REPRODUCING!

So, Yesterday Happened

It all started with trying to sleep an extra 20 minutes while simultaneously teaching a 5 year old how we don't wake up someone who is sleeping IF WE WANT TO KEEP OUR PRETTY LITTLE FACES. I gave up and went downstairs to brown a bunch of beef for tacos and while I was doing that, Nathan ran downstairs to tell me that Lucy had written all over her bedroom walls. I went up to investigate and she had, indeed, written in pencil all over her walls. Again. After decorating my washing machine with purple marker that even Mr. Clean's Magic Eraser could not fix only 4 days earlier.

She had also pooped her pants and was officially in the running for the role of my favorite child.

As I dealt with all of those things, I heard a sharp cry come from downstairs where Nathan had somehow woken up the baby who had been sleeping very peacefully and now that she was awake, she was mad. And hungry. And told me as much.

I still had to finish preparing dinner and pack lunches for a playdate at the park that my kids did NOT deserve to attend. But since we were responsible for a friend who was meeting us there, we went anyway. I also had phone calls and text messages coming in like crazy with all sorts of nonsense and I was about ready to just take the baby (the only human in the house I liked at the moment) and leave to go to a nice quiet bookstore. Or Hawaii. I hadn't decided.

My friend Deanne texted me encouragement: "This is Survivor, lets vote the kids off the island." Amen, sister!



We made it to the playdate after I drove through Starbucks and treated myself to (iced venti soy green) tea (latte) and a donut. When the kids asked if they could have one, I said no. When they asked if they could have a piece, I said no. And when they made plans and decided that every Thursday Park Day they will get a donut starting next week, I said no. I stopped myself short of turning around and eating the donut while they watched and I most definitely didn't wave it under their noses so they could see how great it smelled. But that doesn't mean I didn't consider it.

I had a very nice time with my friend (but missed our other friends!) while our boys defended the fate of the galaxy playing light sabres with their bubble tubes. But no rest for the weary! I still had to go to Costco and deliver my dinners for Supper Swap which meant NO ONE was getting a nap that day. (And trust me, boy did I the KIDS really need the down time.)

We ran into Costco, ran around town delivering food and ran home. I made dinner for the big kids and looked on my counter to discover that the lettuce for the tacos I delivered was sitting on my kitchen counter. After the neighbors came over to watch the big kids, I hit the road and called the people I brought dinner to who all told me I was crazy for leaving the house again and to take my lettuce hauling butt and go back home.

Once David got home, we set out right away to get the big monsters into bed who were melting down quickly. While knocking the chunks off of Lucy and keeping Nathan from killing his baby sister with his love, David comes upstairs.

"Did you lose your wallet?"

(record scratch) "Whaat?!"

"I was checking the machine and some guy called about 4 times because he found your wallet. I called him back and it is definitely yours. Did you even know that you lost it?"

And to think, it was my WALLET I lost yesterday when all day I thought it was my MIND.

Family

You need to read this: One Thing: Stupid is as Stupid Does
I wish I had written it.


When I look around my house I see piles of laundry higher than normal, kitchen floors that used to be white and dishes that need to be washed.

My InBox is loaded up with actual work that needs to be done, my photography site is highly neglected, my e-mail updates to my family far away have been too few and far between.

I think I may have worn the same shirt 3 days in a row, I need to comb my hair and someday I should get all the mail sorted and put away in the right place.

But then, I look in my lap. There is a ball of life smiling, cooing, streching, smacking her lips and grunting. Her fists thrash around in the air at me when she is angry and her toes curl when she is delighted. I spend almost all of my day looking at her. Holding her. Feeding her.

Let the toys go untidied, let the shoes reamin unpaired around the shoe basket, let the dinners be a steady diet of burritos and mac and cheese. Because I am holding an actual moment of time in my arms that I would not give up for anything. Besides, Nathan is here and he wants a peek, Lucy is on the arm of my chair sneaking a kiss and David is standing above me calling out the name of our family's newest obsession...

"Ella...Ella....Ella. We love you."

Ready, Set......

We open the fridge-there is no milk.
Where's the milk?
We need the milk!

It is 9:45pm on Sunday night and the race has begun:
Who can change into comfy clothes/pajammys first so THEY don't have to do the late night store run? (Last man standing fully dressed "gets" to go to the store.)

I will not be surprised to be lobbied with a change of rules in favor of a Rock-Paper-Scissors challenge upon David's return.

Needing a Dictionary

I have a new(ish) laptop and now when I play my favorite computer game, the finger-touch pad is calibrated differently and I am not getting the high scores I usually get.




I know, isn't my life a complete tragedy?

Be Clean and Be Green

Just because Earth Day is over, that doesn't give you the excuse to go out and be wasteful. So please allow me to offer you 1 simple Green Tip to carry you through the year....

Conserve Water: Shower With a Friend

It's fun and you never know what the outcome may be.....even 9 months later.

Hey Baby, You Stink

Seriously?
What are we....18th Century Europeans?!


The following is from New York Magazine...
Baby Cologne Sounds Like a Truly Appalling Product
In johnson & johnson



Sometimes babies smell. They wear diapers, they spit up, sh** happens (excuse the pun). But this is expected because they're babies. We'd guess there are few well-cared-for babies that smell so bad their moms and dads actually need to do something about it. We don't normally hang out with babies, but we can't say we've ever been in the presence of a child that smelled so bad we felt offended, and if we have, we doubt that child was in its infancy. After all, how bad can something so small smell? But Johnson & Johnson would like mothers to believe we're wrong and some babies smell offensively enough they need cologne, which is why they make Baby Cologne. Yes, really.


Here's the description that comes on the bottle:

Johnson’s Baby Cologne has a gentle, fresh fragrance with a pleasant combination of floral and citrus hints. It leaves your baby smelling clean and fresh. This clinically proven mild formula is alcohol free, making it just right for your baby's delicate skin.


According to Spoiled Pretty, it smells terrible. But isn't cologne meant to be smelled up close, which would mean that really only the people who are holding the baby would be able to smell it, which should be parents, with the rare exception? We don't know a lot about parenting or anything, but if parents think their baby smells so bad they need cologne, well, that just doesn't sound like a warm, nurturing relationship that leads to happy 12-year-olds. We wonder if things like this are why 8-year-olds go on diets these days.

Johnson's Baby Cologne [Spoiled Pretty]

Strike a Pose

My sweetie schmoopsie poopsie snugglekins is getting so very big. I do apologize for the silly baby talk but in all seriousness, she is sooooooooo cute. (Now that is some quality writing right there. Instead of making use of the English language, I will just keep adding "o's" to the end of the word "so." I am a literary genius.)

I staged a little photo shoot for our sweet Ella Bella the other day in hopes of getting something I could use for a baby announcement. (Coming soon! Before she turns 11, I promise!) I bribed Lucy to be my assistant with the promise of her own photo shoot afterwards and did everything I could to keep Nathan...just away.

Anyway, I am not sure if I will use them or not but I have been sitting on these for so long and I just can't keep them to myself any longer. Enjoy.

Do you have a favorite?

Where "Be Careful what You Pray For" is Clearly Illustrated

When Lucy first came to our family, we made sure that Nathan learned how to "be soft" with his new sister. We reminded him to have "soft touches" when he'd get close. This point was especially reinforced one day when I left the baby in the middle of the room on a blanket, ran upstairs and came back to find no baby. But Nathan was laying flat in the middle of the blanket--ON TOP OF HIS SISTER.

As Lucy grew, so did her will. And strength. An determination. We found that she didn't quite need the protection she needed only a few months before. In fact, we often turned out heads and let her throw a punch every now and then. But as time went on, it became clear that Lucy was fully capable of issuing a full sized smackdown of her own. It was Nathan who needed the protecting this time.

Now that Nathan is a full foot taller than Lucy, the tables are back where they were. He's a strong boy and has learned some moves while wrestling his friends. He's often reminded he's the biggest and strongest and needs to be more careful when he is playing. And when dealing with his sister, we have found that for every new move Nathan has learned, Lucy has learned the art of crying and how best to use her tears.

Last week, we had a bout a million errands to run before a park playdate. I hopped out of the car for a minute and returned to a sobbing Lucy and Nathan who was saying, "Sorrysorrysorrysorrysorry! I'm so sorry!" Hmmm. What happened? Lucy pulled Nathan's arm. So he pulled it back.

We drove to the park to meet our friends. Lucy was still complaining about her arm and when we got out of the car, she started sobbing about it. My friend-who knew a bit about hurt arms-suggested it was Nursemaid's Elbow and offered to set it back but Lucy was crying so hard, we decided we'd just keep an eye on it while I fed the baby before doing anything.

I watched Lucy Joy: Professional Playground Junkie walk around the park for an hour and not play on anything. She held her arm, she'd come over and snuggle me. She even attempted to eat raisins out of a box one handed while walking. It was possibly the saddest thing I had ever seen. And, more importantly, she was not using her arm at all. I called the doctor and got an appointment for about 2 hours later.

By the time I got to the doctor’s office, Lucy still wasn’t feeling well. When we got out of the car, she was still very sad.

When we got to the waiting room, I noticed she was holding her bag of goldfish with the bad arm.

And by the time we were in the examination room, she was SWINGING HER ARMS ABOVE HER HEAD and singing.



Sigh.

I think she possibly popped it back when she was getting out of the car when she had it in this weird position and it kind of got “caught” on the back of the front seat. Because even my own daughter isn't THAT good as an actress.

I was mad at first that I was sitting there in the doc’s office with a perfectly healthy (and quite obnoxious since she hadn’t had a nap) daughter. But then I remembered that on the way to the office, I had prayed that the visit would not be traumatic, painful or upsetting to her.





It definitely wasn’t.

giggle, giggle, giggle

We sit together at a romantic dinner for two. It is our anniversary-11 years of wedded bliss. Well, we have been wedded at least, it isn't all bliss. He looks up from his delicious plate of food and it begins....

"I have something to tell you about. Something you aren't going to like."

"What??"

"Well, this morning, Nate and I were hanging out before you girls were awake. We were sitting at the table and I had to toot so....


...I HAD HIM PULL MY FINGER."

The record scratch silence was heard from Little Italy all the way to Poway.

"I'm sorry, you did what?"

"I had him pull my finger and then I tooted. He thought it was the funniest thing he had ever heard and laughed for a full minute. Then he tried pulling it again but it didn't work that time. But he was still laughing."

*cricket, cricket*

"Sweetie? Say something."

"I will be giving all of Nathan's school friend's mothers YOUR PERSONAL CELL PHONE when those boys come home asking to pull their dad's fingers."


Fast Forward 5 Days
The scene: The back row of the car on the way to Disneyland

Nathan: "Hey Lexi............pull my finger."

"David!"!

Fingers Crossed That I am Psychic

While shopping for beds at a local furniture store...

"Mommy, look at this bed! I love it! We should get this one."

"No Nate, we aren't getting a bunk bed. I don't think we will ever get a bunk bed," I said as I imagined Lucy deciding to rappel from the top of the bunk bed out the window using only hair ribbons and strips of princess dresses.

"When I am a daddy, I will get one for my kids," came the firm and quiet reply.

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah, twin boys. There will be two of them in my wife Lexi's tummy and they will have a bunk bed."

I stopped walking, leaned in really close to the wide eyes of my son and replied:

"Nathan, I WISH twin boys upon you. I really really hope you have twin boys."



(Sorry Lexi, he deserves them.)

The Facts of Life are All About Yoooooouuuuuu

Nathan: Lucy, let's go see Lando! (The new "sucker fish we got last week-full name: Lando Calrissian Zabrosky)

Lucy: Nathan...I think Lando's dead.

Nathan: What?

Lucy: He's dead, see?

Nathan: No he's not. He's just lying on his side and being really still!

Hippo Birdie Two Ewe...Well, to Me!

Today is my birthday.
I am 31.

It feels like if I am old enough to be 31, then I should really have all my crap together. I totally don't. I think I am going to start by at least keeping my room clean. We will start with the things I should have mastered when I was a teenager. Hey, maybe it will make me feel young again!

I started the morning "sleeping in" which these days means I stay in bed till Ella yells enough to get me out. This morning that meant 7:30am. Man, I am crazy! We raced off to pick Nick up and play a little T-Ball and then home again.

After naptime, the kids iced their own Mommy's Birthday Cupcakes. They got to pick the icing color and had sprinkles and stuff to put on top. It was fun, but one of those activities that took about 5 minutes instead of 25. I took all the leftover icing and mixed it up to ice the rest of the cupcakes and we had a deeeeeeeep purple color on our hands. It was barely edible-color wise. But because I am not one to leave a cupcake lonely and uneaten (especially when it's a lemon cupcake with home made buttercream icing,) I took care of it anyway. I am a really wonderful person like that.

We watched a movie and ate pizza with the kids and after bedtime, David and I watched "Dan in Real Life" with Steve Carell. We'd seen it int he theatre but I loved it so much that I wanted to see it again. It is a lovely film that makes you laugh and leaves you feeling good and maybe a little contemplative.

Now, as I have 30 minutes of "My Day" left, I see my husband asleep on the couch next to me with my 7 week old daughter on his chest. Upstairs, I have a 5 year old asleep in my bed as well as a 3 1/2 year old in one bedroom and a 3 year old in her bedroom. There are a handful of cupcakes still needing to be iced in the kitchen and Star Wars figurines litter my floor. My toenail polish is a little chipped (and will be fixed by church tomorrow or I will be wearing closed toe shoes) and my jeans need to be washed. There is laundry to hang, pictures to edit, a website to update and scripts to review.

This is 31 for me.

I think it is going to be great.

N to the G

I am seriously blowing my kid's mind with this show. He adores all things dance, especially hip hop and since he "learned" to roller skate this weekend, he can't get over that Team BreakSk8 can dance on skates. Actually the first thing he said was, "Mommy, they can STAND STILL wearing their skates?!"

Ahhh, MTV-bringing the family together-not tearing it apart. (As long as you fast forward through all of the commercials for Spring Break 2008 and the Real World.)

Tagged. And Pictures.

Pictures first!

Nathan is in T-Ball and loving it-most of the time. For his first semi game (scrimmage) he got to play catcher. It was all I could do to not run out onto the field and eat him up he looked so cute in all the gear...

I guess you could say that this seasons baseball crush will be on the adorable, snuggly, sweet and spirited Number 3 of the Bluejays!

(Never think I will forsake my all time crush and love Trevor Hoffman though. Especially now that he is sporting some handsome long locks at spring training this time around. I will always love you Trevor!)

Now, the Tagging...
I was tagged to open the closest book to me and write down the first 5 sentences from page 123. (I wrote 6.) I don't usually do this but it had something to do with books. And I love books.

The Last Battle
by C.S. Lewis
Chapter 12

Jill ought to have been back at the white rock already but she had quite forgotten that part of her orders in the excitement of watching the fight. Now she remembered. She turned at once and ran to it, and arrived there barely a second before the others. It thus happened that all of them, for a moment, had their backs to the enemy. They all wheeled round the moment they had reached it. A terrible sight met their eyes.


I tag, ummmm....


Deanne

Angela
Emmy
Amy
Troy

She Had a Strong Walk and She Was Fierce

Daddy and Nathan events happen often in our house. They do things like hiking, taking pictures together, T-Ball, even church work days. Lucy and I get to hang out but we often end up running errands or cleaning the house. So when we had a chance for a Mommy and Lucy "thing," I jumped all over it!

Last Saturday , it was a Fashion Show. Nordstrom has a children's fashion show in the spring and Lucy was invited to participate! We went down a week before the show for her to select her outfit she was going to model. She informed me (and Nathalie-the gal from Nordy's who invited us and adores Lucy) that she would be wearing a PINK DRESS. We looked at every PINK DRESS in the department. There were some really really awful pink dresses. And, oddly enough, when Lucy would select one of those ugly pink dresses as her new favorite to wear in the fashion show, Mommy would inform her that they just didn't have Lucy's size! Isn't that the oddest of coincidences? We found a beautiful dress we both loved and I found out it was a $68 Ralph Lauren dress. And since I knew that Lucy was going to want to take home whatever she modeled, I had to pass on the dress that cost more than what I spent on the entire outfit I was wearing that day. We finally found an adorable Sweet Ivy dress at a reasonable price.

The day FINALLY came and we were down at the Nordstrom in Fashion Valley by 8am. Lucy's hair was all done and she had new shoes to match her dress and Mommy was doing her best to be as pressure-free with her sweet model.

We got dressed and hustled ourselves in line with about 40 other kids and mommies. Our fans showed up: Emmy, Gwen, Amy, Jeff and Kim. We were set! The show started and we inched our way closer and closer to the white carpet runway. When it was Lucy's turn, I handed her off to the Nordy's employee and stepped out front to take pictures. I saw Lucy take about 2 steps and then she suddenly disappeared. She ran sobbing backstage and couldn't find me right away which made everything even worse for her. She just held me and said she didn't want to go. I told her she didn't have to-and I really really meant it-and suggested we go see our friends.

Suddenly she said she wanted to try again. The gals who were helping to wrangle the kids said she could totally go again and this time she walked down the runway and turned around and bolted off stage-this time with a giant smile on her face.

"I DID IT!" She told me.

Oh yes Baby Girl, you did.

Moments before changing our mind....

Second time is the charm! And look at her charm her way down the runway.

"Mommy! I did it!"

Some of Lucy's adoring fans

We are blessed to have such lovely friends.

Double Standards...The Only Kind To Have

As I drive around town (I have been doing that a lot...I am on a mission that when it is complete, I will tell you all about!) I am amazed at the number of houses that still have their Christmas Lights on display.

This judgement is passed despite my role as a Christmas Decor Nazi and including the fact that I still have my Holiday Starbucks Mugs on display in my kitchen.

Ahhh, hypocrisy...isn't it refreshing?

Sometimes You Just Can't Dial Down the Crazy

I love that Elle McPherson uses the word "knickers" instead of "panties" on America's Next Top Model. I am SO teaching that one to my kids. Hmmmmm, if I only talk in a British or soft Aussie accent to Ella if she will develop one? That would be awesome! I'd have 2 Yankee Youths and 1 sweet English Muffin.






OK, I just went back and read what I wrote and I have decided I have too much power. I shouldn't be raising impressionable children. Maybe with every crazy Mommy thought I have, I will put a dollar in a jar to be later used for the kids' counseling and crazy-deprogramming sessions.

From the Mixed Up Day of Miss Ella Anne Zabrosky

Dear Diary,

Oh what a day it was yesterday and today! Certainly not one of those boring days filled with sleeping, eating, pooping and stopping women in their tracks and causing their ovaries to call out for more children because of my undeniable cuteness and beauty.

I started the day normally after a night of general fussiness. I am not sure why, I just wasn't in a good mood. Woke up on the wrong side of the cradle I think. And around 11am, I spiked a fever of 101.5. Mommy was SURE she took my temperature wrong so she retook it an hour later and got 100.4. She called my doctor who said I needed an outing...to the Emergency Room. Yay!

Mommy bundled me up in the Moby Wrap and we waited in the waiting room for our turn. I took a nap and kept Mommy nice and warm. People would look twice at us before they realized I was snuggled papoose style on Mommy.

Once they called us back and took my temperature, it was back up to 101.3. They let us know that all kinds of tests needed to be done, including a lumbar puncture, a pic line for an IV and blood tests and all kinds of other poking and prodding. They also told Mommy that I would need to spend the night at Children's Hospital. Hooray! Another field trip!

Mommy didn't want to see all the tests done so she left me with the kind nurse ladies and she called Daddy to come too. Our friends next door said they'd-what did Mommy call it-"wrangle" Brother and Sister while we were gone. I dazzled everyone I met with my charm and mesmerizing presence.

After all the tests were done, we got to go to Children's Hospital...in an ambulance! How exciting! Find another 3 week old who has had this much fun in their short life! Plus, the ambulance guys were cute.

Once we got to the hospital, we relaxed and Mommy and I settled in for the night. I would have slept better if the nurses there didn't come in every 2 hours to poke me, test me and then use this loooooong tube to suck all the boogers out of every inch of my body through my nose. I mean, I know I am filled with a creamy, gooey center (that's why I am so irresistible) but I thought it was caramel or Cadbury Crème Egg or homemade cheesecake-not snot!

Test results were slowly coming back in and were looking good so far. No bacterial infection, nothing really all that serious looking. I however, felt the continued poking and suctioning was a VERY serious matter but no one listens to me!

I hung out in bed a lot...or snuggled Mommy as we waited to see what the doctors wanted to do with me. It was a quiet day since Daddy is sick and can't visit and all of our friends and family are either sick or have sick kids.

The doctors decided that I probably just have the boogery, snotty cold that Brother and Sister have and they gave me some meds and sent us home. Mommy was so happy that she took pictures of her shoes and said, "There's no place like home." I am not sure why she did that. I know it is a lot louder here at home than at the hospital but I don't mind since it means no more suctioning or poking or prodding. I get to see another doctor in the morning and then I think I will be all done with the adventure for now.

Mommy told me that if I was looking for some extra attention to just ask her to read a book to me next time.

Good Night Diary,

Ella Anne