I Might Be the Only One Who Watches This Show

Tomorrow, I am planning to meet some girlfriends for breakfast.
We will be consuming delicious bacon. I am looking forward to it terribly.

I am exhausted and ready for bed-but fulfilling my blogging obligations-save the fact that i just finished watching "Fringe" on DVR and now I find that my mind is filled with the idea of parasites that might wrap themselves around my beating heart.

Ohh that's icky.

Know what's not icky?
Joshua Jackson being witty and charming and doing something heroic to save my life.
Oh Pacey, I've got it bad for your sarcasm and wry smile.


Of course, with my luck, I will just dream about bacon. No, not Bacon. The breakfast kind.
Might not be so bad either way.

Spooning

After careful consideration and extensive examination, I have decided that my favorite of all the utensils is....


The spoon.


The big spoon is my favorite. Especially for cereal. Second is the set of tea spoons I got for my wedding. They are long and they are perfect for reaching into a container of Ben and Jerry's Vanilla Heath Bar Crunch.

The small spoon kinda makes me feel like a giant when I am eating. I generally avoid it all together.




Just like I should have suggested you avoid this blog today all together.

It's No Baby Ruth

You know, you have to be pretty desperate for Halloween Candy when you stoop to eating those Act II Popcorn Balls as a snack.






Gotta go, kernal stuck in my teeth.

How Do I Write This Post Without Making it Sound Like a Poorly Made Adult Film?

While I was taking a shower the other day, I realized that I have been taking a shower the same way since high school. Start with washing and always start with the left arm. Let's break it down...

1. You have to start with washing because your hair is up so it doesn't get body soap in it.

2. Once you have rinsed, you can wash your hair.

3. After washing your hair, you condition your hair.

4. While the conditioner is soaking in and making your hair sleek and shiny so you can look like a Garnier Fructisse commercial (who has super long hair and ties it around things?) then it is time to wash your face.

5 and 6. Rinse, rinse hair and face.

7. And now you can choose from a myriad of shower bonus activities. (No, not that kind. Well, that kind if you wanna. And if you are married.) You could shave, you could apply a form of extra conditioner, the possibilities are endless!

Showers are wonderful.

While doing Step 4 the other day, I accidentally got a little bit of face wash in my nose. Not a terrible thing except my face wash is this stuff with a cooling sensation on it so the rest of the day, it felt like I was walking around with a Halls Cough Drop shoved up my nostril. Quite unpleasant.

The lesson today, kids?
Be careful with your face wash and don't date boys who will tie your hair to a metal railing. it's just weird.

Complete Awesomeness

Got this from Maggie...





In other news....there's lots of updating going on over at the site with all the pretty pictures. And if any locals were hoping to squeeze into this weekend's mini sessions, we still have spots on Sunday.

Exer-Saucing

Three Years Ago...

Lucy Joy
9 months old
2005






Three Minutes Ago....

Ella Anne
(almost) 9 months old
2008

Mama's Note: Ella looks happier becuase she just discovered all the leftover Puffs and pieces of "cookie" she was just eating. She cleaned up!

What a good baby.

Query...

When you have a baby girl and she wears dresses, you get cute little covers-called "fanny pants" in our house-that cover her diaper when she's crawling around or kicking her brother in the head just because he exists.

However, as your baby girl becomes a big girl and she continues kicking her brother in the head just because he exists, her dresses don't come with diaper covers any longer. So you put on shorts and hope that no one can tell that they are from said brother's 3 piece pajama set.

Here's my question: Now that the winter months are upon us and we are sliding on our pairs of totally adorable striped tights under dresses and skirts, do we still need the shorts? They seem redundant since the striped tights cover the fanny in question.

We do like the tights-they show off the great calf muscles we've built up from repeatedly kicking our brother just because he exists.

Top Science Was Used to Come to This Conclusion...Pay Attention

People don't always like to share their age. I am noticing this as I get older myself. But there really is a surefire way to see what end of the spectrum people fall on and David and I are clear examples of the difference when we answer the following question:


Who is Uncle Jesse?


His answer....



My answer...


Mine is clearly the better one no matter how much David begs to differ.

And here is my proof:

My Punkins

I am so behind in my picture postings that NaBloPoMo will serve as catch up time.
Here are my punkins...Nick, Lucy, Nate and Ella. We got 1 picture out of 30 with everyone looking in the same direction. And 1 picture of Nathan shoiwng us how he can hold Ella with no hands. (I think the kid likes to see me freak out.)




Also coming in November, The pictorial Adventures of the Class Turtles!

You Read Me Like a Book

I read.
I will read everything printed.
I will read and re-read my favorite books.
I am a re-reader.

It is my experience that you either ARE or you are NOT a re-reader. I would rather buy a book than get it from the library because I also choose books carefully and most everything I buy I am going to like and therefore re-read. I have been that way since I was a child and even wore through my first copy of "Charlotte's Web."

I love fiction especially. Not necessarily a love story but something that will be a journey. I love Maeve Binchy's beautiful intricate storylines and stunning descriptions of her homeland, Ireland. (I will go there someday!) Being a lover of snark, I enjoy almost everything by Jennifer Weiner. If you want to see amazing things done with the English Language in an accessible manner, pick up Annie Dillard. And start with my personal favorite, "An American Childhood." And if you want someone to look directly into your soul and then describe them it paper, read Anne Tyler. And then if you want a scientific adventure and hold what could very well be a movie right in your hands, Michael Crichton is for you.

All of this is to show you that while I AM a reader, I am terribly unread when it comes to the classics. I have never picked up Jane Austen...but I did read "The Jane Austen Book Club," does that count? I picked up "Little Women" once and just never actually read it. Although I know part of my motivation is knowing that it doesn't end the way I think it should and that I won't get to see Christian Bale while I am reading the book. The list could continue....

I think this coming year-beginning with our annual trip to Reno in which I get a total of almost 20 driving hours in which to read (yes, Sooz, we are coming!) I will pick up some of these classics. I want to be the well rounded reader I know I can be.

So, Internet, what am I missing??

I Get By With a Little Help From My Friends

Lest you think I am NaBloPoMo-ing alone, I thought I'd encourage you to visit my fellow bloggers-and good friends-who are also NaBloPoMo-ing. (It kinda makes me giggle every time I type it.)

So visit my blogging friends...leave a comment...become a regular reader! Because I love my friends and I think you will too.

In no particular order...

Carol

Michelle

Susie

Angela

Sooz

Deanne

Lori

Amy

Cyndi and The Hutch

Heather

(did I miss you? let me know!)

The Candy Round Up

Well, we canvased the neighborhood and the facts are as follows...

-We hit more houses this year than ever before. Longer legs and the high fructose corn syrup siren's song seemed to motivate the walking despite the lack of naps.

-Storm Troopers do NOT wear tennis shoes. They prefer brown flip flops.

-The Baby Ruth is completely absent from the candy haul this year. I am severely disappointed.

-A black cat missing her headband ears is still cute with eyeliner drawn whiskers.

-When you are cute and have curly hair and are wearing an Alice in Wonderland costume, people will give you more candy than your Storm Trooper escort. Honest. I saw it happen at almost every house. (World, Lucy DOES NOT need more candy. I know she's cute. I know she has freckles abundant and that she smiles at you in a way that makes life worth living but if you keep giving her sugar, I will send her to live with YOU.)

-But somehow the Storm Trooper pulled in a full sized candy bar and Alice only had, well, twice as much candy.

-Following the lead of some lawmakers, the child with the most candy will be more heavily taxed than the one with the least.

Happy *Yawn* Halloween

After a long day that included trick or treating our sweet Gwen (of "Gwen Papers" fame for those of you who know Lucy's name for Post-it Notes) and lunching with Aunt Kristy and Grandma Sisi, we came home and collapsed.

Well, Ella and I collapsed. Apparently the other children have not napped.

This will be a VERY interesting evening.





Do under eye bags match an Alice in Wonderland costume?

NaBloPoMo-ing!

Okay, so I haven't been around much the last few days. But I will be now...At least for this month-ha!

Know what? YOU SHOULD TOO!!

It's a whole lot of fun and if you blog, it is a great challenge to write something every day for 30 days!

Please join me? Go here: http://www.nablopomo.com/

And you could win something! I did 2 years ago.

Yeah, it was something I never knew the world had a need for.

But it was a major award!

Don't simply enjoy my witty snark for 30 days, dish out some of your own!

PS: Want to do something fun tonight? You have till 10pm tonight to enter....check out Mae's Monster Challenge. It's fun! Look for our entries tonight!

It's Almost the Weekend!

So laugh yourself to Friday....

What's Pink and White and Frosted and, Gulp, GONE?!

Rest assured, dear friends, The Goose lives. It only took me about a day to get over the Motherly Wrath we spoke of earlier. It melted one night when she was in bed and all of a sudden started crying. David went in to check on her. She'd been playing with an elastic headband and it had snapped her in the face. More specifically, on the eye. David was concerned it might have hurt her badly.

"How many fingers am I holding up, sweetie?" He showed her 2 fingers.

"But I only have THIS MANY!!!" She sobbed back, holding up one finger.

It was this plus her sitting in my lap trying to count all her freckles today that made everything okay.

The feeling of everything being okay was shattered when Michelle had this conversation with a checker at her local Vons.

Did you click the link? Did your read how THERE WILL BE NO MORE PINK AND WHITE COOKIES? No more Iced Oatmeal? No more English Tea with their hint of lemon? No more Taffy with the slightly odd flavor you just can't pinpoint? And no more Sugar Wafers where you eat all the pink ones first, the white ones next and give away the chocolate ones? NO MORE!

Mother's Cookies is bankrupt and while my sis-in-law and I discussed buying it (I have about $12, who is in?) or asking for it for Christmas, it looks like no one is going to bail them out. All that was left to do was join a Facebook group and then do my part this afternoon by buying, well, a lot of cookies. 3 stores just for the Circus Animal ones, actually.

So join me in the mourning as we raise a frosted cookie together and salute the 92 year old institution that defined our childhoods. I am sad to know Ella will live in a world with no frosted Circus Animal cookies. Well, that world will start after we run out of our ever growing stash.

I leave you with the following. A commercial for Mother's Cookies Ice Cream....and Joey Tribbianni. (Matt LeBlanc)
Enjoy.

Mad.

This is not the post I had planned to write.

But I am MAD.

Ohhhh you don't want to be a freckle faced 3 1/2 year old right now.

Of course if you WERE a freckle faced 3 1/2 year old, you wouldn't have broken your baby doll bed and then taken the broken pieces and colored all over them.

And your Mommy wouldn't be livid and telling the internet how livid she really is over a baby doll bed on her blog. A blog she usually likes to use to uplift, entertain and add just a little bit of the occasional scandal to your life.

I am alternating between the worlds called "My Wit's End" and "Overflowing With Neverending Loving Kindness and Heart Shaped Bunnies" with her. I can't keep up with the changing moods. And don't tell me it will be worse when she's 12. I worked with Junior Highers for 7 years, I know it will get worse and that worse will also involve boys and mean girls and hormones. I don't want to hear all that.

Instead, I want to hear that it won't always be like this (lie if you have to.) I want to hear that those of you who know and love my daughter can still find redeeming qualities in her. I want those of you who don't know my daughter to say that you have always wanted to get to know her because she is so cute. And so freckle faced. And dressed like a farmer.

Even though right now all I want to do is call her a Poo Poo Diaper Baby.

That's All I Need

Ever read something so simple and hilarious and all you can think is how you wish you'd written it?

Yeah me too: Happy Meals and Happy Hour-The Jerk Goes Shopping

What do you think I am? A Jerk or something?

Ten on Tuesday-Tuh, Tuh, Tuh

Time for Ten on Tuesday including things I am thankful for that begin with the letter"T" in no particular order.

10. Taco Shops, because in my world, the fifth food group is "Mexican Food"

9. Tablets of Paper, my friend Deanne was recently introduced to my love of all things office supplies. If she saw how many notebooks, folders and tablets of paper I had, she'd simply die.

8. Tea, hot and cold. All of it. My Starbucks order is an Iced Venti Green Tea Latte with Soy. Yum. My favorite loose tea is anything from the Republic of Tea. (A friend's blog reminded me just how close Christmas is so I thought I'd drop just a few hints in case anyone is paying attention.)

7. Tiffany's. The magic of that little blue box. I have 1 bracelet that my dad and stepmom got me for Christmas a few years ago. I remember thinking I could never pull it off-that it would look out of place on my wrist. But now it is one of my post precious possessions and while I don't wear it every day, I try to. After my wedding rings, it's my favorite thing to wear. It somehow has the magic to make me feel beautiful. And I feel so loved by the givers as well. (I hope to someday expand my collection!!)

6. Television, oh how I love thee. I know it's wrong but I really do.

5. The Twilight Series of books. I can't stop reading them! I am halfway through the series and while I promised David that I wouldn't ever stay up till 4am to finish the books again, I never promised that I wouldn't let the laundry pile up higher than me to catch up. I will miss the Cullen family when they are out of my life.

4. Tombstone, the movie. This is one of the most quoted movies in our library. Plus it is the favorite of Neighbor Jeff which means I get to say things like, "I'm your huckleberry" and "You tell 'em I'm comin' and hell's comin' with me, ya hear? Hell's comin' with me!" a lot. I also get to see Val Kilmer. And I love Val Kilmer.

3. Tetris, it is addicting. And now that I found it on Facebook and can't seem to beat Deanne or my sister-in-law Jamie, it has become even more addicting. (It's driving me crazy too-I used to be super good!)

2. Tuesdays and Thursdays: pre school days! You probably think I am going to say it's because Lucy is gone and I am down to only 1 kid. But it's more because my sweet Goose's world has been opened to so many possibilities that it is overwhelming! she talks and talks the whole way home and all the rest of the day about everything she did at school. It's amazing. I hope she never stops talking to me like that.

1. Texting. I looooooooove texting. I can ask a quick question, tell a joke or beg for prayer all while preventing my friends from hearing the cacophony going on in the background. Text me. Always text.

This blog has been brought to you by the Tee-Double E- Double R-Double R-Double I-Double F-Double I-Double C C C C letter T! Check out more of them over at Crayl's little spot: Beyond Black and White and then go type up your own list of thankful things that start with T!!

Do You Forgive Me?

Internet! Hi!
How have you been?

I know, it's been-like-forever! What have you been up to?

Me?
I was just a little sick. (Read that: Thought I just might die.)
We've been taking some pictures.
I took the kids to Disneyland all by myself and returned with all 3 of them.

Ella waves now and says hi. But it sounds like "Hhhhhhaaaaaaaa" and it is possibly the cutest thing you have ever seen. It's as if she's the only baby to ever wave and say hi. And while I know she's not, I do know she is the cutest baby to ever do it. Don't argue with me. She's cutest.

My shows are back! I have been watching a lot of TV. The DVR is on overdrive and I think I broke the record button on the remote.

School is going well. Nate has a lot of friends and one girl specifically who, according to Nathan, calls him "Ethan" but "that's ok, Mommy, I like it." He and this young lady also like to figure out sign language that, when demonstrated after school, his mother has a very hard time not laughing at the aerobatic ways her son perceives the deaf to communicate.

And in the other romantic news in the lives of my children... (Everything in that sentence is wrong.)

....Lucy has made a friend in a young man at school who she says is her best friend and that they are going to get married. "And when we play on the playground we kiss like this." Then she makes kissy noises. When talking to Lucy about how there are OTHER ways to show our friends affection, (like hugging, or standing all the way across a room and smiling, but NOT kissing,) I was told, "But Mommy, I like kissing him." After I told David about it, he got the guns out for cleaning.

Oh! I have also been reading. I am engrossed. The laundry is neglected, the dishes are piling up, I threw mac and cheese at the family for dinner and there are rumors that a couple of kids were possibly put down for a nap early so I could finish the last few pages of "Twilight." But you know how those rumors are.

Know what else I have been doing? Neglecting YOU, Internet.
I'm sorry. I will be back soon.
And that's a promise.

Do you forgive me??