They Make House Calls Now?

I was driving by a house that had a van out in front that read:

Down Under Plumbing

When did OB/GYN's become mobile?

Tales From Customer Service

My friend BigPhatMomma inspired me to post MY Customer Serevice experience I had this morning.

"Thank you for calling PayPal, how can I help you?"

Didn't realize those words would take any coherent thoughts I ever had and twist them into a swirling mass of goo by the time I was done talking to the kind and "helpful" PalPal guy.

I have what is apparently a recycled e-mail address with Cox. Once, some guy who has a name like mine had it and now he doesn't, I do. Every once in awhile I get a goofy forwards from a friend of his who hasn't updated his e-mail account and then I also get quarterly statements from PayPal. After 2 years, I decided to fix that this morning in person and over the phone. (What was I thinking??) I have tried e-mailing before but I think when you e-mail PayPal, they have filters that remove all your vowels, insert q's in their place and THEN try to answer your question.

20 minutes later, after I have had to spell and re-spell my name, the other man's name, the e-mail address, my shoe size and whether I like chocolate or vanilla ice cream, I am told that it is an ISP problem and good luck and have a nice day.

Getting this guy's e-mails is no big deal to me; I have been deleting them for the last 2 years. It just confounds me that a human being who is supposed to be helpful could have such a hard time understanding a concept. The only thing that could explain it is if he was taking two calls at once, or he is two years old.

I Love the Nightlife...

It’s 1:30am and I am up after a brief bit of shut eye. I have a headache from this blasted cold I feel like I have been fighting all of my life. It has moved into my chest so my coughs sound like I need to be trimming my 2 pack a day habit to just 1. (Or just switch cigarette brands.)

Being up at night when the rest of your family is sleeping feels like sneaking around a store after it is closed. You don’t turn on as many lights. Moving objects around, you take great care to keep them quiet. It is a rich feeling, like you have unlimited possibilities of what you can do. Time ceases to exist and the world (as confined by pajama clad activities) is your oyster. Will you clean up your house a little? Do you pay some bills? Start a book? Finish a book? Snack and watch TV? Or write poetic e-mails to your friends about your nightlife?

As I sit here in my pj’s (and a lot of you know what THAT means) I struggle over what to do while waiting for my 1 (one!) Extra Strength Tylenol to kick in. I have a book I started awhile ago that I haven’t really absorbed enough for a late night read. I will probably need to start it over but my internal CPU is operating on insufficient memory right now. If I add more information, things like my children’s names, my shoe size and what kind of car I drive will come running out the other side of my head, lost forever. I emptied the bags from my Target shopping spree (I can never go in there and get just ONE thing) and I could probably clean off the counter a little more. TV is always an option, I have 1,483 channels to choose from, there must be SOMEthing on. I have crocheting to do-I will be managing my own sweat shop from now till Christmas as I make scarves for everyone in my family as presents. (Family who may be reading this: Forget I said that. It isn’t scarves, I am getting you all hundreds of dollars worth of fabulous gifts and prizes!) Or I can simply continue to sit here surfing the internet, glad that no one can see me here in my pajamas (!!) and sandals.

Then there is my most favorite option: one of the above sedimentary activities coupled with falling asleep on my couch. It is so glorious to nap on my couch-a big hug that leaves you wanting for more pillows instead of a husband in your bed. (You are thinking, “Does she really mean that?” YES, I do!) Although sleeping on the couch is wonderful and feels like such a glorious treat, in the morning the magic in the relationship is gone and you can’t understand why the cushions are poking you and how the couch is trying to launch you onto the floor and the pile of clean laundry you were using as a pillow has flattened into an uncomfortable lump. The ends of your feet are slightly numb because the couch is too short by just thismuch and walking feels like a whole new sensation now that you are toeless. You could say it is a hangover (HAHAHAHA bad 1:30am joke!)

I think I will opt for the unmentioned activity of lying in bed and willing my headache to go away. I can feel it fading now and wonder if I gripe too much about only taking 1 (one!!) Extra Strength Tylenol since it does seem to be working a bit. I feel funny sitting here in my pj’s (a bit drafty, really) and I am all too aware that in only 5 hours, I will have a sweet faced boy kissing me awake. (It isn’t as sweet as it sounds, most of the time he forgets and instead puts his face up close to yours and you get to awake to the delightful feeling like you are being watched. And you ARE.)

Good Night.

Welcome to The MexiCocina Open Air Theatre

Nate the Great, Family and our friends Jeremy and Marissa Mann went out to eat last night. We went to what is possibly the BEST Mexican Restaurant at least in Poway-MexiCocina. We decided to sit outside since it was a) a nice night and b) less people to drive crazy with our kids. We ordered some yummy food for the grown ups and we knew better than to get anything for Nathan. He was perfectly content eating chips and chips and chips and rice and chips. Oh, and stirring everyone’s drinks. Besides, he was to preoccupied to eat-he had an audience.

As is his current style, anything Nathan holds is a guitar. This particular night, it was a dinner knife. He stood in his outside patio chair and played his knife. He sang his usual repertoire of songs consisting of Newsboys’ “He Reigns” (how-a-you-yuh) and various U2 selections. When he got to his favorite U2 song, “Vertigo” he decided that his audience needed to really rock it out and he cranked the volume up all the way to 11. We realized that many things converging at the same time got us to this point.

1. We had only a 45 minute nap at about 11:30am that day.
2. We weren’t telling him to be quiet.
3. He really wanted to impress the friends dining with us.
4. He was on a serious tortilla chip high.

We look around and while he is singing, three tables have stopped eating. They have stopped talking. They are all smiling and listening to my son sing. He realized this at the same time we did and like any good performer, straightened up, flashed a smile and began his set list again. He got applause after each song, he had people signing up to join his mailing list and Crayola autographs were handed out by the dozens. And as with the most exciting of rock concerts, it only ended when our singer rocked the stage so much that he almost fell off it. (Remember #1 on our list?)

Regardless, he got quite the ovation and left in rock star spirits with a jacket thrown over his head so the groupies wouldn’t attack him as he climbed into the car seat of his tinted window SUV.

Look for Nate the Great appearing at a restaurant near you!

Bill Gates vs. Crayola

Microsoft Outlook knows many brands. It knows to put a hyphen in Wal-Mart. It knows to capitalize Kleenex. But I have discovered that Bill must be at war with the Binny and Smith company...

Microsoft Outlook doesn't recognize Crayola. It doesn't tell me to capitalize it. It doesn't acknowledge the existence of the word at all except to tell me that what I MEANT to type is: cariole . I don't even know what that IS!

Clear obvious war.

Was Bill harmed by Crayola crayons as a child? Did he have a horrible pre-school incident? Or was he possibly just raised in a Rose Art family? (The Horrors!!)

Watch the news, I bet this war will be surfacing on Bloomberg any day now.