Thursday, April 23, 2009

Toddler on Air Guitar

My cable company just added new music channels to their "Music Choice" lineup and while checking them out, I found a "Toddler Tunes" channel. It sounded interesting and nice so I tuned in........huh?? 

I just heard a Lullaby version (no singing) of "You Can't Always Get What You Want" (by the Rolling Stones) played on what sounds very much like the piano that Nathan was given on his First Christmas.

I was puzzled at first but as I thought about it, it is a very good life principle to teach young children. You can't always get what you want. But if you try sometimes, you might find, you get what you need.

"Genius!" my thoughts continued! "What a good message to send to young children and toddlers! this is something we all need to know in life and as my child is falling asleep, these are good words to be drifting around in her head. It might be just the right thing to help her build a good foundation of realizing the difference between want and need."

I leaned back and listened to the tinkle (hee hee, I said tinkle) of the toy piano. I wondered to myself what the rest of the lyrics might be but then I decided that I just didn't want to know.

But then I realized it. Something you may have realized already.
I don't know many toddlers or babies who might already know the words to this particular Rolling Stones this all music version of classic rock and roll isn't really going to have any effect on my child's moral upbringing unless I teach her the words to the song.

And we all know that if I'm schooling Lucy or Ella on The Music of the Rolling Stones, I'm gonna be starting with "Satisfaction."

Wait a minute....hmmm.

UPDATE: Now the Music Channel is playing a lullaby version of Dolly Parton's "9 to 5." 

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Look Away...I'm Hideous

This morning, when I woke up, it was quickly apparent that I had spent most of the night sleeping on my face. There was a very strong resemblance to Mel Gibson in "Man Without a Face."

No, I am not posting a picture of myself. I do have a teeny tiny shred of dignity.

I can't take Nathan to school looking like this so even though we are ready to go, we are waiting for Mommy to return to normal. 

Do you think they have a box to check on Nate's Tardy Slip for something like this? 

This might be a fill in the blank situation.
Reason For Tardy......

...Mom just wasn't herself.
...was busy fostering an appreciation for the Mel Gibson films of the 1990's. (Next is "Forever Young.")
...student to terrified to ask for a ride to school.

Monday, April 20, 2009


All around me, there is silence.
The cause of my conflict is tucked safely in bed.
I focus myself and with great concentration begin to apply layer after layer-painting myself and symbolically showing the world:

This is war.

I have declared it and will not rest until I win.
Or I'm dead.

The warpaint applied, I surround herself with my arsenal of weapons and begin the waiting.
I may appear peaceful.
I may appear calm.
But a battle is raging right there on my face.

It is the signs of aging.
And this 32 year old plans to win.

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

And That's the Day Mommy Started Drinking at Lunchtime

The Cast:
Mommy, Age 32
Oldest Brother, Age 6
Nephew, Age 4 1/2
Oldest Sister, Age 4
Youngest Sister, Age 1

The Theme: How Mommy Lost Her Mind
As told in brief statements of reflection
Ongoing Facebook Status via Twitter (indicated by italics)

Bethany Shumate Zabrosky gets to take 4, count em FOUR kids into 1 tiny doctor's office. So if you would pray for Jesus to come back before 9 am this morning, that would be great. Thanks
Left the house at 8:15am on the wrong freeway
....late for (2) kids' doc appointment
...4 kids in 1 tiny doc room
...loud boys with pretend guns during hearing test
...holding down 4 year old girl for 4 shots
....1 year old falling out of chairs during 4 year old's shots
...disharmony and unkindness flowing out of 3 big kids' mouths

....milkshakes undeserved but promised without a behavior clause
...1 year old screaming
Bethany Shumate Zabrosky is attempting to engage in French Fry Therapy with crappy fries and too little ketchup.

...6 year old back to schoo-wait, feed 6 year old lunch first and then back to school
....breathe because there is one less kid
...gas for the car
...4 1/2 year old nephew sobbing because of potty accident
...pull out of long line at gas station
...port-a-potty 4 1/2 year old nephew
...1 year old screaming
...port-a-potty 4 year old daughter
...gas station line again
...find pants in car for soaked nephew
...gas pump pumps more gas than desired, goodbye groceries
...1 year old screaming for allergy meds
...1 year old screaming

...lunch for big kids
...1 year old screaming and throwing herself on the floor
...big kids go play
...1 year old screaming and kicking
...1 year old finally accepts lunch and stops screaming
...pack up nephew's bags for him to go home
...pack up bags for t-ball game
...begin t-ball laundry
...pick up 6 year old from school
...4 year old daughter melts down because she didn't get a hug from her friend at her brother's school
...pile kids into car
Bethany Shumate Zabrosky might actually go insane today.....TODAY IS THE DAY!!! Huzzah!! 30 mins to take nephew home
...1 year old screaming
...1 year old and 4 year old daughter sleep-ahhhhhhh
...drop off nephew

...head home to get t-ball laundry and prepare for first game in 2 weeks
...insert 1 million distractions here
...t-ball player can't find his hat
...grown up words almost yelled despite pre school toys being present
...t-ball game in the light rain

It's raining on the field but the crazy fog is lifting.

...daddy arrives
...t-ball done and 6 year old melts down when he doesn't receive game ball

...dinner (THE END IS IN SIGHT!)
...6 year old sent to bed 40 minutes early for disobedience
...1 year old screaming
...4 year old alternating between sweetness and not so sweetness
...playtime with 1 year old
...bedtime for 4 year old
...bedtime for 1 year old

Bethany Shumate Zabrosky fjewioh48329jdnv.

Saturday, April 11, 2009

It Doesn't Matter How I Breathe

It is the night before Easter. Easter Eve?

My family is all asleep and I am up running around like a crazy woman packing for church and the after-church. Both require many specific items like hair bows, t-ball gear, change of clothes and back up food options for the picky eaters of the family.

I also had to close myself in my car for a bit to listen to my iPod. I am singing a great song for church tomorrow. It is beautiful, the lyrics are powerful and the direction of the song requires me to summon up all the air I can pull into my lungs for one really big long note. I have the rest of the song down. It's that one note that is threatening to keep me awake all night.

When I sing-especially for church-I really really want it to be perfect. The main reason for this is because when you have a well structured service, one brought together with elements that blend together perfectly with enough room for the Spirit to move but structured so that it shows its purpose, one really botched song can throw that off. So I work hard-especially on the solos.

But as I was singing and NOT holding that note like I should, I realized something:

Whether or not I can hold this note for the full 10 counts, JESUS STILL ROSE FROM THE DEAD. If I mess up tomorrow, if my asthma kicks in and I find that I am lucky to be able to sing even one quarter note: JESUS IS STILL ALIVE! If I get to church and breeze through rehearsal and forget the words during the service: JESUS DEFIED DEATH!

Tomorrow's service has been prayerfully assembled. Each seat in our Worship Center will hold a soul that God hopes to make a personal connection with on Sunday morning. I am His vessel for carrying that message no matter what my physical body can handle.

When I was first singing in church as a high schooler, I sang a song by Crystal Lewis. I had a new dress to wear, my hair was done the way I liked and when it was my turn in the service, I got up and sang. It was perfect. I got to the musical break where I had selected some scripture to be read while the track played in the background. I began to read, it was awesome! I got to one part and lost my place. It was like the words of the page just FELL OFF and were heading out the door to beat the Methodists to all the good lunch places! The scripture was telling about the miracle Jesus performed on the man who was lowered through the roof to get close to Jesus. As I read and tried to catch myself up, I remember I said, "the guy" instead of "the man." THE GUY? Why not "the dude" or "that one" or just grunting and squealing like a pig instead of saying "the guy?" I. was. mortified.

I finished the song, survived the rest of the service and I cried the whole way home. Later that week, I got a card in the mail from a dear friend's mom. She told me how much she loved my song on Sunday. How God touched her through the words I sang and thanked me for sharing. Look at that! God still can work powerfully in our lives even when our human-ness attempts to get in the way of the message!

I am thankful tonight that it wasn't my job to get Jesus out of the grave. Because if you know me, you know I sometimes flake out on things. I will forget, be late or show up on the wrong day. And if that had happened, well, our end would not be a happy one. Jesus didn't need us to raise Him. Yes, our sin put Him there. But it was by His choice. And it is because He is perfect that He rose again.

Tomorrow, Easter Sunday, when I prepare to sing, I am going to remember that God doesn't need my perfection to make the Easter Sunday at Vista Grande Community Church the Most Powerful Church Service of All Time Known To Man! He needs my obedience to sing the song I am meant to sing. He needs me to offer Him my "first fruits" and deliver the very best performance I humanly can. He needs me to reflect Him with my words and praise.

And that is something I will NOT be late for.

Holy holy holy
Is the Lord God Almighty
Who was and is and is to come.
With all creation I sing
Praise to the King of Kings!
You are my everything
And I will adore you.

-Revelation Song by Jennie Lee Riddle
sung by Kari Jobe (And me!)

Thursday, April 02, 2009

Description: Fluffy, Sticky and Covered in Sugar

Dear Nathan, Nicholas, and Lucy,

You may notice this year that your Easter baskets something this year. You have always had some form of Peeps in your Easter Baskets and, well, they just aren't there this year.

It's because a bird FLEW INTO THE HOUSE and opened the pantry and moved the spagetti sauce aside to open the tied bag of Easter candy and took ONLY the Peeps and then flew out! The whole time calling out, "Peeps! Peeps! Peeps!"

Wait...I have something better.

A pack of wild dogs came as me as soon as I opened the back of the car and they ripped open the bags from Target and TOOK ALL THE PEEPS! It was terrible and I barely escaped with my life.

Hang on-I've got more.

It was like a FORCE FIELD made all the mags magically float out of the shopping bags and into my mouth.
Dang it. I gave it away.

I'll make it up to you. Look for an abundance of Easter colored Whoppers. Just as good as Peeps. And they don't silently call out to the wildlife of San Diego to seek and consume.