Friday, October 28, 2011

We're Fine. We're All Fine Here Now, Thank You. How Are You?

I am in the middle of a discussion with my procrastinating 8 year old about his Halloween Costume.
(I totally allowed it since his Costume Designing Mother (CDM) is a procrastinator too.)
We have suspended the conversation so he could go downstairs and get ready for school...and possibly so the CDM could cool down.

See Nate had the awesome idea of being the Pied Piper about 2 months ago. It came because he was learning to play the recorder at school and since the CDM (or the DWHBLOHSFESRSM in this part of the story.... the Doesn't Want Her Brains Leaking Out of Her Skull From the Ear Splitting Recorder Sounds Mother) wouldn't allow him to play the recorder in the house as much as he wanted, he brilliantly thought of the Halloween Loophole.

CDM jumped on the idea! It was so creative, so fun to make! AND, how about we get rats and mice that we tie to fishing twine and they follow the Pied Piper Nate around! Brilliant!

But then Nate changed his mind. "What if people don't know what it is?" "What if people laugh at me?" We were off on a new costume hunt.

But then we got distracted and forgot or didn't have good ideas. Now it is Friday before Halloween and today is THE LAST DAY that CDM will be shopping for Halloween Costume Pieces.

Then it hits her: Han Solo! Nathan would make a GREAT Han Solo! He's got the scruffy hair ("Whos 'scruffy-lookin?'") and the costume requires things CDM can easily pick up at Target. Winner winner Chicken Dinner!

We discuss it, he is intrigued. Then he asks about Luke Skywalker, could he be Luke? What about Qui Gon Jinn? We Google Images some costumes and he sees that even the Amazing CDM can't pull that off with only a few hours to go. And CDM asks,

"What's wrong with being HAN SOLO?"

And Nathan answers....


Did he just "Eh" HAN SOLO?!

CDM is trying to hold herself together.

He stands up and goes downstairs to eat his breakfast and I call out after him, "Don't you know that Han Solo is the COOLEST?!"

No response from the 8 year old who clearly hit his head and is suffering from a concussion or something mind altering.

"Can YOU make the Kessel Run in less than twelve parsecs?!"

By then I think he was downstairs.

You know, he might not like Slurpees (seriously?) or any drink with carbonation (I mean, c'mon!) but I don't know if I can allow this Han Solo Complacency to remain unchecked in my home. It might turn into an epidemic.

Wednesday, October 05, 2011

The Incredible Spreadable

You know how standing in your garage with the door closed feels like you are in a secure and insulated room in your own house? And then, after needing to raise your voice and use very strong and stern words with a certain 3 year old tyrant, you remember that being in the garage is almost like being outside and that anyone standing near your garage got to hear you have to carry a kicking and screaming 3 year old out to the car so you would get the big kids to school on time?

Might I also add to the scenario that as soon as you open your garage door and pull your car out, you see 2 of your nearest neighbors. One is loading up their own child to go to school and one, while collecting his mail, gives you a VERY knowing smile and wave that only confirms that he heard EVERYTHING.

The 3 year old might attempt to scream during the drive and that is when you repossess a toy (as you said you would) since she didn't calm down. But to remove that toy, you, in your jammies, will have to get OUT of the car and exchange smiles and waves with 2 OTHER neighbors around the corner.

When you arrive home after successfully getting big kids to school and you now have a 3 year old who has very quickly adjusted her attitude because she has remembered that Mama Means Business, you will find that the only way to get past the start of your day is to butter up two extra soft and squishy Hawaiian Rolls. Which leads me to today's topic:

Things I Like to Spread on Hawaiian Rolls

Butter....always butter. I really don't like my rolls heated and I prefer the butter cold-but spreadable. I know that's a little odd but it is just how I like it.

Whipped Cream Cheese. It has to be whipped because otherwise it will tear the roll. I am not usually a fan of whipped cream cheese except for dumping into Neighbor Salsa but the sweet of the roll and the tang of the cream cheese just work together.

Avocado....with turkey. (I know, you can't spread turkey but the Avocado is the more important of those two items.)

Homemade sliders with cheeeeeese.

Honey with a little butter. If you do have to warm the roll, a little melted butter with a little honey is nice. Don't over honey the roll like you can for a piece of sourdough toast.

I guess, after the morning I had this morning, I should add one more thing...