Nate Lays Down the Law

A Rant by Nathan as told to Daddy
Transcribed by Mommy based on Daddy’s memory of the conversation

When I am a grown up* I am going to read stories to my kids every night. Until midnight.
And then Lexi will come upstairs and say, “What the heck are you doing? It is 10 minutes to midnight and you have to go to bed. If you don’t stop this you can’t go to dinner with us tomorrow!”
But I WILL go to dinner with them tomorrow.

I will not just read stories, I will TELL them stories and I will tell them about the Tickle Monster and tickle them if they are 2 boys and want to be tickled…..

…or maybe I will have two girls. Or maybe one boy and one girl.

(long pause. much thought.)

OR

Maybe I will have one and one set of MULTIPLES!


The end.

*=This is his new thing when we make a decision he doesn’t agree with. He has also told us that he will never spank his kids, only tickle them when they have been bad. I told him good luck with that one.

Thank You.

Dear Zablets,

I don't think it is very respectful of our Veterans who fought for your freedom and safety for you to decide to wake up BEFORE 6am on a day off from school. Especially because, as it happens to be in this case, there are no Veterans currently in our home to protect your freedom OR safety from an incredibly sleepy (and potentially grumpy) mom.

*Yawn*
-Momma


Dear Veterans,

A letter of thanks could never suffice to express the thanks and appreciation I have for you. Your choice of career lends you to putting your life in the line for people you will never meet and people who might treat you poorly because of that uniform you are wearing. You and your entire family go for months at a time apart with an element of unknown and potential danger where your family and loved ones can only pray for your safety in response to your absence.

You are exposed to some of the most horrific images a person could see, endure a training so grueling and taxing and are expected to have a mind and body that can react to a myriad of situations in a split second requiring the correct response every time or lives can be lost.

When I see you in uniform, it moves me. I may not say it to those of you whom I see regularly but I hold you in very high esteem. I also hold your spouses and children in a very special place. Your sacrifice is for me! So I can speak freely. Make decisions for myself and not have to submit to an authority that doesn't represent me. Because of you, I get to speak up when I don't like something our government is doing. I get to choose everything from the kind of bread I eat, to the channels I watch to the man I want leading our country. And even when I don't agree with the bread available or the man in office, I still respect the process. The ability to stand in a tiny booth, expect total privacy and get to choose the circle I darken.

So today is your day. And there are some cool businesses that are thanking you for your sacrifices by giving you a free meal or free admission and I hope you take it. I hope that when people see you and recognize the gift you have given them, they say thank you in person.

We thank you.

Beauty. Hope.

When Lucy joined out family, she was as sweet as sweet can be. She was the baby everyone wanted to hold and play with. And when her soft ringlet curls started coming in, it only increased her appeal. She learned how to work the eyes, how to turn on the charm and how throwing your arms around someone's middle just might get you whatever you want.

Then, she learned a whole lot more about volume and attempted the screaming thing. (People didn't believe me but they soon learned.) And then she learned the manipulation thing. The lying thing. The scheming thing.

It breaks my heart. And it is something we work on daily. And the good part about it is that it shows how smart she is and how she is willing to work to get what she wants. But the downside is that it is hard to see her softer, pure heart through all that deceit.

Today I went to see the doctor my mom works for, Dr. Lance Clothey, and the girls LOOOVE getting to see Grandma Sisi and everyone in the office. They are there a lot and know that if they are good they get to help Gma Sisi behind the desk and get stickers. They also know that most of the time when they go in there, they get an apple from the bowl on the counter. Today there was a pear, and Lucy got to eat it and share it with Ella a bit too.

After the appointment today, as I was checking out, Lucy wandered out of the office and asked me if she could have an apple. I said yes and she walked off to the kitchen. I assumed that my mom said it was okay and told her where to get one-it had been done before.

Lucy came back happy with an apple. The girl loves apples and had been well behaved at the office so I was happy for her. I mention something to Mom on the other side of the counter and she says, "I didn't send her back there to get an apple."

Cue the record scratch sound and absolute mortification.
"Um, Lucy where did you get the apple from?"

Lucy tells us she got it out of the fridge and we are realizing that it is most likely Kathy's. Sweet, wonderful Kathy who brings an apple with her lunch every day. Lucy has stopped eating it and is flushed head to toe. I am having a hard time knowing what to do.

I bent down and explained to her that she can't just go into the staff fridge and help herself to anything. That this apple was part of Mrs. Kathy's lunch and Lucy just took it. I wasn't about to slam down the big "STOLEN" word because I wasn't 100% sure she had taken the apple maliciously. But then again, I wasn't sure. I was praying for a sign.

My 4 year old daughter, who was very sad, turned her face up to me and said very softly, "Mommy? Can I go an apologize to Mrs. Kathy?" And her eyes filled with tears. She just looked at the apple in her hand and it was clear she was not going to enjoy a bite of it until she was able to apologize. Every step we took down the hallway, Lucy moved herself forward. I was choked up seeing her strong desire to do the right thing.

We found Kathy, explained what happened and Lucy cried and begged for forgiveness. She gave Kathy a hug and we all were wiping our eyes. Kathy told Lucy she forgave her and asked her to please enjoy the apple because it was okay for Lucy to have it. And she enjoyed every bite. I suspect that after that forgiveness, it was even tastier.


It was one of those moments that reminds me to keep doing what I am doing. That on the days where it feels that my examples and life lessons and verbal instruction on the "Right Things" to do are falling on deaf ears, they are, in fact, piercing through the exterior. Because today, I was able to catch a glimpse of my daughter's true heart. And let me tell you, it was beautiful.

The Halloween of October's Past

I dug some of these out to show the kids and decided that I needed to embarrass myself even MORE on the internet (but this time, I am taking a couple of you down with me!)


Bethy the Fairy....sporting awesome purple velcro sneakers.


Political Correctness hadn't set in yet so it was okay to dress up like a bum with a Tootsie Roll as your cigar.


Everything that is wrong with this picture include the following:
1. I did it because I was scared of mimes.
2. Greet the mane of Julia Roberts Mystic Pizza Hair that would be permed in only 2 months.
3. The cast. It's purple. Broken ankle. PURPLE.
4. Black Keds. (Wait, I still kinda like those.)


I wish this picture showed the awesome jeans! They were real bell bottoms my mom found and we painted them all up with peace signs and daisies. I remember kind of wishing I could wear them all the time.


I was a pregnant Mama and these were my babies: my sister, my step sister and my sister's best friend. (Told ya I was dragging some of you along with me!)

Finally, this one wasn't from Halloween but I had to throw it in there because it includes the use of one of the most awesome wigs of ALL TIME.



I was on staff with our Jr. High Group and we were having a staff hunt at Seaport Village. The staff and other prominent people in the church dress up in ways the kids won't recognize us and then the kids have to come up to people they think might be a part of the staff hunt, they have to say some sort of ridiculous spy like phrase int he hopes that they will answer you with some sort of spy like phrase and then they get a clue to solve a puzzle after they have found everyone. It was one of my favorite events while on staff.

But after getting dressed up, we discovered it was raining and wasn't going to be letting up so we changed to North County Fair Mall and this wasn't quite as blend-in-able. So I changed.


But I still TOTALLY rocked the black wig.
And my sister did too.

I Forgot the Title of This Post

If you come to my house, you will be more than welcomed. You will most likely be offered a seat on my amazing couch and you will be warned that 97% of people who sit on it end up asleep. You will be treated to some sort of oversized story from my son and either one of my daughters will bring you a book to read. You will, of course, also be offered a soda and encouraged to help yourself should you need another one during your visit. And then, if you excuse yourself to go to the bathroom, I will most likely holler down the hallway after you, "Sign The Book!"

"The Book" is our Bathroom guest book. You will find it in its own cute basket and I have regular pens and some fine point Sharpies as well. Inside the bathroom book you are encouraged to write a poem, tell a story, draw a picture or simply sign your name. It's weird, I know. But I have had a Bathroom Sign In Book for the last 9 years. There are 2 volumes and in the pages you can mark when people had babies, what house we were living in, what movie we were watching or even how my sister did on her recent online practice tests when she was in college. It was when I was reading through the bathroom book that I was reminded of my friend Carol driving me home from a minor procedure and having a bit of fun with me.

I had to have a simple in office biopsy done on the bottom of my tongue (everything was fine) and I'd had them all but knock me out completely. They also loaded me up so I would not be too uncomfortable. You have NO idea how much you move your tongue until something has been sliced off the bottom of it.

I was happy to be awake. I was not happy to be missing part of my tongue. I was happy to have had such a lovely and delightful nurse despite the fact that I had cried over this whole thing while in the recovery room.
"Carol, have you met my nurse Rachel? She's been so nice. So wonderful. so lovely."
"Hi Rachel, nice to meet you."
.......2 minutes pass and Rachel comes back to check in on me.....
"Oh Carol, have you met Rachel? She's been my nurse today. She's so nice."
"Hi Rachel, nice to meet you...again."
"Wait, did I already introduce you?"
.......another 2 minutes pass.........
"Carol, don't let me forget to introduce you to Rachel. She's been the sweetest and nicest nurse through this whole thing.
"Yes Bethany, I met Rachel. She's now a part of the family."
"Oh."

Carol told me it was then she realized that my short term memory was still asleep.

We were given instructions from my doctor which I promptly forgot.
"How often do you take your pain medicine Bethany?"
"Uuuummmmmmmmm."
"1 every 2-4 hours."
"Oh yeah."

Carol drove me home and that's when the real fun started...
"Bethany, I need you to help me remember something. Spencer needs milk. He's just a baby. It is so SO important that he gets his milk. Can you please help me remember to buy milk? For Spencer?"
"Oh yes Carol, I will help you remember." Except it came out more as nodding, drooling and grunting.
....one mile later.....
"I'm going to the grocery store, Bethany, what was I supposed to get?"
"Ohhh nooo. I don't remember!"
....pulling into my apartment.....
"Bethany, remember what I needed to get from the store?"
"Ummm, no. But did I introduce you to my nurse Rachel? She was just a wonderful person."


I am sure there will be more stories from the Bathroom book to come...stay tuned!!

Blogger Fail

Yes Dear Friends, you have done the math correctly: I missed yesterday.

The plan was....
-dinner for the kids
-various other errands and chores
-kids in bed
-go upstairs to edit pictures

and while I was going to be editing pictures.....
-WRITE WEDNESDAY'S BLOG

I even had a topic that included these key words:
short term memory and bathroom sign in book.

But instead I did everything, including the going upstairs but I didn't write.
Sigh.

Tuesday Tenner

10. I think I would have fun working at Costco. When I am there, I see people laughing and joking with each other, I totally rock a name tag and just being there makes me happy so......

9. It has come to the attention of the upstairs bathroom scale that my daily nachos habit is not so wonderful. Although my taste buds are seriously disputing the facts and calling the integrity of the scale into question.

8. I had one of those cool experiences today where God took such great care of my heart when I was in a situation where I was Moses, begging for an Aaron and God instead took me by the hand and helped me do what He'd asked of me. I know how vague that is but if you have been there, you know what I am talking about.

7. RED CUP DAY! Are you like me and you have a lot of friends who celebrate Red Cup Day with the enthusiasm that most people celebrate Christmas? If not, then you need new friends. I will lend you mine.

6. Nathan is watching me type this out and is amazed by my speed. Clearly I need to show off in front of 6 year olds more often. It's good for the ego.

5. When I worked at Berean Christian Stores ("Thank you for calling Berean Christian Stores, this is Bethany, how can I be of service?") I was so fast at the the 10-key that I would wait till there were a lot of customers waiting to check out and I'd ring up my separate orders on the other computer with lightning speed. Because pride is a beautiful thing in a Christian Bookstore.

4. Almost every time I have to write "separate," I have to have it spell checked. I only finally mastered "definite" just last week. Seriously.

3. I recently finished a book series by Ken Follett. "Pillars of the Earth" and "World Without End." They are eleventy billion pages each and you will end up dreaming about their storylines which, to me, is the result of a good read.

2. David came home from work today and gave me the once over look. It was nice. And then he said, "What's going on with the lipstick?" Even though I was fully aware that I had on deep red lipstick that I was auditioning for real life and had applied it in the car only a few hours before, I pretended to not know what he was talking about. Risky move, yes, but I got an "I like it. It looks good." out of him. Success!

1. I took a series of pictures of my sister and Ella playing with a baby doll recently in the Big Red Chair (before it's near fatal injury.) And this one is my favorite. It just makes me smile.

Please Form a Single Line for Dead Relative Insults

A few nights ago, I shared a piece of pie with my mom, sister and stepsister. I met them at Coco's and we laughed and I drank waay too much iced tea and it is very possible our server thought we were all crazy. And then it came to be story time.

See, my stepsister wasn't around a couple of years ago the evening my mom and sister and I sat around a high table in the Marie Callendar's bar area doing much of the same thing we were doing that night. Except, we were there because my grandmother-my mom's mom-had died only a few hours before.

As soon as it happened, and the things that needed to be dealt with were complete and David came home to watch the Zablets, I met Mom and Kristy in LaMesa. They were already halfway through the entire pumpkin pie they'd ordered for the two of them. (If there is one thing we gals know, it is how to properly drown our sorrows in starchy foods and carbs.) Since I am not a pumpkin pie fan, I ordered the biggest bowl possible of Marie's potato cheese soup. (Ohhhhh soooo heavenly.)

We spent the evening laughing a little, eavesdropping on a conversation in the next booth between older 2 men and an older woman who had obviously reunited after some time and we could not tell who the woman had come with. Or if she'd come on her own and was hoping to leave with someone. But we enjoyed their very loud conversation about their good old days.

Our waitress was very sweet and when she found out why we were sitting there, she was so lovely and sympathetic and laughed at our food choices but it was the "I Hear Ya Sister" kind of laugh as if she would have pulled up an order of potato skins as soon as her shift was over.

Eventually the conversation moved on to more recent things going on in our lives. My sister's job, my mom's approaching wedding and my work at church. I was, at the time, frustrated with someone (honestly, no idea who) who was being all kinds of drama for me and whatever project I was working on. I was fed up and found myself just venting to my mom and sister. I was cooking up a great big batch of righteous indignation complete with 5 course meal and dessert. I explained how out of touch the person was with reality and how dramatic they were behaving and to drive my point home, I used a comparative analysis statement:

"I mean, it's not like their MOM JUST DIED or anything."

*blink, blink*

"I mean, er..........not 'mom died' because your mom just did die and........"

I looked around for the nearest exit, prayed for Jesus to return and attempted to drown myself in my potato soup all at the same time but I didn't need to: my mom was almost choking on her pumpkin pie with laughter.

The phrase is now a part of the family history and used whenever someone has just really stepped into it, verbally. And it, um, happens a LOT around here.


C'mon, fess up. you've done something like this too, right? Right?!?!

Haloooo NaBloPoMo!

I greet you with the sweetness and light of a blogger who plans to write every single day for the rest of the month. And this is my first post. Note the sweetness. Note the light. Note that most of it is organically manifested within and not a direct result of the Halloween Candy Sugar High I will have for the rest of the month.

Wow, Bethany, a whole month of Candy Sugar High? Why yes, dear reader, because after I'd bought a very modest amount of candy and then watched as neighbors actually filled ALL THREE of my kids Pumpkin buckets TO THE TOP with candy, and then had only 3 trick or treaters come to the door, I have MORE candy than when I actually began the Halloween Celebration!

Think I'm being dramatic? Think I might exaggerate a little? Think this blog already contains too many questions? Well, here is the loot......



You know, it's hard to really judge depth in a photograph. Can we measure?



Wow. Look at that.


I now have 4 gallon Ziploc bags filled with leftover Halloween Candy. Everyone who works with David should just watch out: He's bringing it to you Monday morning.


Of course, they should also know there will not be a single peanut butter cup in the bunch.

The Facts of Candy

Dear Children of Poway,

You want to come to my house tonight. I give out good candy. I give out paper bags filled to overflowing of candy. It is awesome.

But you must understand, there will, under no circumstances, be ANY Resees Peanut Butter Cups in those paper bags. It's just how it is.

Love,
The Lady With Peanut Butter Cup Breath

Because He's a Boy

Nate's Friday Folder brought this home....and when I sent a picture of it to his father, David replied, "That's awesome."



And, well, I guess it kinda is!

Making Up

I'm sorry.
Can we be okay again? I will go back to the writing the happy and sometimes funny and occasionally inspiring things and you can go back to the reading and the commenting and the loving me again?

Find someone to hug you. Because if you were here with me, we would not only be watching 30 Rock from last week and eating candy pumpkins but I would also hug you. Because I am a hugger and I give exceptional hugs. (It's all my squishy padding.)

So, are we cool?
Good.
I feel so much better.

So.....I am totally doing this again.

I know what you are thinking: Really Bethany? Even though lately you aren't.....so much with the words?
But, I have always done it and I am one of those people who LOVE traditions and I want to stick with this one.

If you are looking for time to kill, you can see my offerings for NaBloPoMo 2008 and NaBloPoMo 2007

Now, before I go, I leave you with this set of images...its Nathan and Ella riding on a tricycle and it is super duper cute.

You Don't Want to Read This One.

It is 2:30am Sunday morning and I am avoiding sleeping. Because sleeping leads to movement into the next day. And when you find yourself dreading the "next day" you'll do what you need to do to make it arrive as slowly as possible. It's a tried and true technique of mine that never works and almost always fries me the next day.

But tonight is different because I am getting things done: I am cleaning out my DVR by watching all my saved episodes of "Melrose Place" and "Models of the Runway."
See how responsible I am?!

Okay guys, here it is. (And this is an old story for some of you guys.)
Back in December I got really sick. It was a flu or a virus or something but it was the sickest I had been in a long time. And while I made light of the ringing in my ears and didn't even mention the severe loss of hearing, it was all there. I was so sure it was something simple like a build up of fluid and since it was Christmas and vacations and all that, I didn't get to a doctor till the end of December who then referred me to a specialist.

The specialist diagnosed me with Sudden Sensorineural Hearing Loss (SSHL) and it most likely is a result of the virus as well as my delay in seeing the doctor or specialist.

My hearing loss in my left ear is classified as "severe." If you walk up behind me on my left side, I won't hear you. If we are in a restaurant and you are anywhere but right next to me on my right side, I will most likely not hear you. My TV is turned up extra loud and if I am not paying attention, I will (and have) miss the verbal direction our worship leader gives when the band is supposed to repeat the chorus on a Sunday Morning Praise song.

The ringing is constant. Loud. And always there. And when I am really in the mood to bum myself out, I force myself to listen to it. How pathetic is that?

None of this will go away. In my case, the SSHL is permanent. And know what? It kinda sucks.

Okay, moving on to the topic--at my latest appointment with my specialist, we discussed the various possibilities of hearing aids. With my loss, the system that would work best is the BAHA system. It involves a minor procedure (you can click the link to see more if you care to know) and is a more permanent solution to my problem.

What is cool is that, before I make a decision to have my doctor drill a screw into my skull (oh wait, I said it-sorry,) I can TRY the device just by using it clipped onto a headband thing. The headband thing isn't cute and covered with polka dot fabric. And, it has a weird thing on one end that kind of pokes out and then has the device on the other end. I have noticed a difference. It is kind of cool to hear things clearly through my left ear. I have been wearing the headband and device all weekend.

So.....why am I avoiding Sunday?
I don't want to wear the headband. I don't want to have to talk about it all morning at church. I don't want to have to tell and retell what is going on to people. People who dare to care about me. Love me even.

I could, of course, not wear it. That would be easy. But it also feels kind of hypocritical, you know? Not hypocritical just....not right. I hold a solution (or improvement) to my hearing loss in my hands and I choose not to use it?! How many ways is that wrong?

And how ridiculous is it that I am whining about this? And to you?!

I think this is one of those things where there are a whole LOT of emotions about this whole thing and I am choosing to focus all of those on one event. Maybe some time I will waste even more of your time blog about getting the BAHA "installed" vs. my constant prayer for a miraculous healing = a wavering in my faith?

If you made it to the end of this, thank you. You should get a medal. But I have better than a medal! I have a video of Jim Gaffigan talking about Hot Pockets. You're welcome.

Mommy Doesn't Eat Dead Grapes.

The bag comes home and everyone rejoices.

David and Nathan usually rejoice with a similar "Yeah!" and Lucy squeeks while Ella just points and grunts (she is still a baby after all.) I get the scooper and open the bag while Nathan or Lucy help me get little plastic bowls for everyone.

Everyone usually gets 2-3 scoops. and the bowls are handed out. Only Ella's needs some removing of a few things that she can't quite chew yet.

We all sit at the table and crunch. and crunch. And talk (sometimes with our mouths full) and crunch. After a few minutes, it begins......

"Mommy, can I have your raisins?"

"Nathan, I will take all your cashews-I do not understand why you don't like them!"

"Daddy, Ella is saying 'More,' I think she wants more raisins."

"Lucy don't forget, no more M&M's for you, they are dairy. Want a bunch of my peanuts instead?"

"Daddy, can I have some of your--" "No, Daddy eats all the stuff in his."


We are a family of 5.
Ella can only eat the raisins.
Lucy eats the nuts and raisins.
Nathan will eat peanuts and M&M's.
Mommy eats everything BUT the raisins.
Daddy eats it all.


It makes me smile how a bag of Trail Mix from Costco can bring our family together.

Let's Have Beans for Every Meal!

Here's a little Friday video for you....

Poorly shot on my camera phone with a messy house in the background but I can't resist a video where, at about the 0:32 mark, you will hear Ella toot and then "Ahhhh."


And yes, just posted a video about tooting. It seens like the perfect ending to a week in which I traded lyrics with a fellow blogger to the "Beans Beans the Musical Fruit" song via Twitter.

Enjoy! (And turn your volume up.)

And Then I Promptly Placed Myself on Time Out

My daughter just scolded me.

Lucy. The four year old.

And I had to do my best to not laugh.

She marched into the living room and said. "Guess what? Ella could reach the knife."

Her head was cocked to one side and she had one hand on her hip.

In the other hand? The offending butter knife. Covered in jelly from the morning's jelly bagels.

I apologized.

I didn't feel like there was anything else I could do but to apologize.

Bottlecaps, Bottlecaps and Ripples

We here at The Wardrobe (Falling Out Of) make it a point to never get involved in a land war in Asia and, some would say more importantly, we never go in against a Sicilian when death is on the line.

Additionally, we throw in odd movie quotes into our blogs to see if people are paying attention. AND, we like to tell stories of embarrassing situations for our most favoritest of the blog labels: Are You Not Entertained? So get your blanket, your favorite Grandma Sisi pillow and a snuggly friend, here we go.......

(Psst, Dad, I will be using the word "bra straps" in this story. I might also be using some interesting metaphors that relate to bras. Just a heads up.)

Once upon a time there was this lovely store here in Southern California called Mervyns. It was good for picking up basic items of clothing that were a little nicer than Target but not as nice as Nordstrom and they also carried the best underwears.

In addition to the underwears, they carried a HUGE selection of sundresses. These were dresses with many different kinds of prints. Some had sleeves, some didn't. Many of them tied in the back and when they did not tie, you would often find something like fabric covered alligator clamps that would cinch your dress in the back and create a very slimming silhouette. Boys and girls, Mrs. Bethany loved those dresses. She had lots of them. But her favorite was the maroon plaid one.

The maroon plaid dress was long long long and had a long tie in the back and was strapless. She could wear the dress from work to a date with her hot hubby to church even! She could wear it while babysitting a friend's kid or hanging out at the beach. It was a beautiful relationship except for one simple flaw:

The armholes cut in toward the neck just a tiny bit more than her bra straps did. So her bra straps would sometimes show. *gasp!* This was NOT okay in the world of 1998. People weren't as willy nilly with bra straps as they are here in the world of 2009. So she searched for solutions.

Some of these included strapless bras and even an ace bandage. These were either ridiculous or uncomfortable (I will let you decide which was which) and just didn't offer the solution Mrs. Bethany was looking for.

Mrs. Bethany had heard from a friend of her sister that when faced with a similar problem, she said she just skipped the bra completely-just not worn one at all! A new concept to Mrs. Bethany, she inquired how she handled the, um, "standing at attention" problem she had should she enter a cold room. Her solution? Band Aids.

(Okay, it is at this part of the story that I will be substituting the word "bottlecap" or "bottlecaps" for the word I might need in this story that rhymes with "ripple." Are you following me? Okay then, onward. )

Mrs. Bethany believed the idea of putting band aids over bottlecaps so that your ladyness and elegance remained intact seemed like a brilliant idea. Without putting a whole lot of thought into it, the very next day she prepared herself to wear the beautiful maroon plaid dress with the band aids applied. It was okay most of the day. Different, freeing maybe, and definitely made sure that there was none of the aforementioned willy nilly strap display.

At the end of the day, feeling proud of herself and pleased that the bottlecap solution was a success, she went to change into her "home clothes." We all have them. They are the cozy sweats or yoga pants and oversized t-shirt or tank top that seem to almost apply themselves to your body when you walk in the door. Except, Mrs. Bethany had a certain bottlecap/band aid situation to take care of first.

It is at this point of telling the story that I shall spare you the step by step of the arduous process of removing something coated with incredibly strong adhesive from skin that is very soft and just let you do the Bottlecap Math. And since so many of you are so very smart, I am guessing your figures are adding up.

Mrs. Bethany had two very angry and abused bottlecaps. And Mrs. Bethany was looking for some answers from her sister and sister’s friend.

Upon talking to this sister and her friend, Mrs. Bethany discovered two things:
1. Her sister’s friend hadn’t ever actually TRIED the bottlecap solution.
2. Mrs. Bethany’s sister and her friend couldn’t stop laughing.

So, boys and girls, the moral of this story is two-fold…..

Treat your bottle caps with kindness, no matter how cute the sundress may be.

and

Never believe your little sister and her friend. Never.

What is This Place? I Hardly Recognize It!

I haven't forgotten you.

I haven't forgotten the blog.

My dad wants me to write about the Padres.

My kids all want me to write every knock knock joke they tell each other.

I am tempted to describe to you-in detail-just how much snot is currently occupying my brain space.
But I don't want to turn you away.

Instead can I direct you to a couple of folks that you might enjoy?
(I should say-I have MANY friends who blog and blog with brilliance. This is merely an ever so small selection of people I love.)

Friend Lori: In the midst of potential devastation (which is sometimes harder than the devastation actually happening) Lori manages to see the humor in life and shares it quite well.

Nat the Fat Rat...and some other such things: Oh she's funny. And she makes me think about the meaning of life and how important it is to really OWN the red lipstick you dare to wear. And she makes the cutest onesies! Look! right here!

Friend Summer at Le Musings of Moi: Know how awesome she is? She blogs every day. Every day, people! And you do NOT want to miss the Fashion Friday posts!!

If you visit, read. If you read, comment. If you comment, tell them I sent you!!

And I will be back soon.
That's not a pie crust promise. Unless it is a pie crust that I end up making. (Those are rock hard solid.)

First Day of School AND Happy Birthday David!

While this blog is often used to entertain and provoke you, today we are taking care of a little family business. We had the first day of school as well as David's birthday!

The day started with the classic photo shoot.



Which included some classic Nate faces....



Smile with your bottom teeth!



Who said he's allowed to look so grown up?



Here is what Nathan looks like as a First Grader in action...



As has it has become the tradition, we headed to Original Pancake House for carbs and (gluten free for Mommy) pancakes. This time we had David with us! We enjoyed hanging out, contemplating which of the many pancakes to order and trying to keep the very vocal baby entertained. It was a lovely morning. And a great way to celebrate a birthday!*




*= The photographer in me has to mention that when we stopped at home before breakfast, we switched the camera from the 5D to the Rebel. I just had to say it.

We've Decided to Call it the Nasal Douche

People, I have been sick. And it has been gross. Coughing. Sniffling. Snot everywhere. (Yes, I'm done. Well, mostly.) I reluctantly picked up some cold medicine because I really had to power through a few events that weekend and couldn't do it on my good looks alone. I also, after receiving wise counsel from my friends on Facebook, picked up.........a Neti Pot.

Let's speak frankly here people: It's gross. Possibly grosser than the snot everywhere. But its also, um, kind of addicting. You feel so good after using it! Even if you can't really look yourself in the mirror because you know you didn't look as cute as the smiling girl on Oprah.

Well, David was kind of facinated by the process so I shouldn't have been surprised when I excused myself one day to go use my neti pot, he wanted to watch.

"You can't WATCH me use it! No way!"

"I don't see the problem here."

"It's gross and embarassing and there will be water running out of my nose!"

"Honey, I have seen you give birth to 3 children-this can't be any different."

"Yes, but after those 3 births, I handed you a sweet wonderful and cuddly baby. After I use the neti...........well, that would be something entirely different I would be handing you."