Saturday, May 02, 2009

The Nose Knows

Dear Febreze,

When you first came out a number of years ago, people thought you were amazing. You'd spray their clothes with a light scent, those clothes would get tossed in the dryer and come out looking like they'd JUST been laundered! AMAZING.

And then you had stuff to spray on your COUCH! And your CARPET! AMAZING!

But, Febreze, I really think you should have thought this whole "scent thing" through a little more. You see, when you first appeared in the Target laundry aisle and I was a brand new housewife, I used you everywhere. On the clothes, on the bed, on the couch. I think I bought every different variation of your brand. And now that I am a not so brand new housewife (and frankly have an even greater need for your smelling good and anti-allergen abilities) I have a problem with the scent of you.

The scent of Febreze= DIRTY CLOTHES.

Now, if I grab a cute top I wore for 2 hours 3 days ago, spray, it tumble it and wear it for a night out with the girls, I am going to think of my laundry pile outside the washing machine that never gets smaller. I picture that pair of jeans I am trying to squeeze one more wear out of. Dirty work clothes, sweaty T-Ball gear, stinky toddler socks all swirl around my head in a Looney Tunes fashion. And because of that, I can't use you!

My suggestion?
Make Febreze to smell exactly like major detergent brands. If I spray and tumble and pull out a shirt that smells like Tide, I am one happy gal! If I can walk out the door with clothes that smell like Gain or Surf or All then I won't be thinking of dirty laundry while I sip a Manhattan at Bing Crosby's, I will be able to clearly form a plan to steal the shoes one of my friends might be wearing. (I love shoes.)

In conclusion Febreze, I think a move in this direction might be just what the laundry aisle needs to shake things up. This might cause women to EEK! out loud while picking up dryer sheets. (Hey, that's another scent you could adopt!) You never know, Febreze, sometimes it doesn't take much to brighten our day.


A Woman Who takes Her Laundry Scents Just a Little Too Seriously


  1. can it smell like the yummy crisp smell of clothes dried on the laundry line with clothespins?...ahhh back when life was in black and white!!!

  2. Please, will you send this to them? Please???

    I think of throw up when I smell Febreze. Because Taylor had some stomach issues for a year where he threw up a lot. In the car, in his bedroom, everywhere. Hence, Febreze. Hence, throw up.

    Class action lawsuit?

  3. I like it when you talk about your house cleaning products, it always makes my giggle just a little.

  4. PLEASE tell me you are sending this!!! :) House-wives across America would back you up!

  5. If you don't send this...I will.
    Here is their "Contact us" page.**

    What febreze reminds me of? Dog pee :)

  6. I've ALWAYS hated the smell of Fabreeze. I tolerate the allergy one every blue moon in an emergency...but if it smelled like TIDE! Oh yes, I would be purchasing that!
    Heck, let's ask Tide to make it and have competition.
    Although, it would be expensive, just like Tide soap, and what good is that? I can't afford the good stuff either...