Monday, April 21, 2008

Hey Baby, You Stink

What are we....18th Century Europeans?!

The following is from New York Magazine...
Baby Cologne Sounds Like a Truly Appalling Product
In johnson & johnson

Sometimes babies smell. They wear diapers, they spit up, sh** happens (excuse the pun). But this is expected because they're babies. We'd guess there are few well-cared-for babies that smell so bad their moms and dads actually need to do something about it. We don't normally hang out with babies, but we can't say we've ever been in the presence of a child that smelled so bad we felt offended, and if we have, we doubt that child was in its infancy. After all, how bad can something so small smell? But Johnson & Johnson would like mothers to believe we're wrong and some babies smell offensively enough they need cologne, which is why they make Baby Cologne. Yes, really.

Here's the description that comes on the bottle:

Johnson’s Baby Cologne has a gentle, fresh fragrance with a pleasant combination of floral and citrus hints. It leaves your baby smelling clean and fresh. This clinically proven mild formula is alcohol free, making it just right for your baby's delicate skin.

According to Spoiled Pretty, it smells terrible. But isn't cologne meant to be smelled up close, which would mean that really only the people who are holding the baby would be able to smell it, which should be parents, with the rare exception? We don't know a lot about parenting or anything, but if parents think their baby smells so bad they need cologne, well, that just doesn't sound like a warm, nurturing relationship that leads to happy 12-year-olds. We wonder if things like this are why 8-year-olds go on diets these days.

Johnson's Baby Cologne [Spoiled Pretty]


  1. Babies who aren't bathed regularly do, indeed, stink. I've smelled them. So for those parents who don't make bath-time part of the daily routine, maybe there's a market for a product like this.

    Amazing, but I can see how this would make sense.

  2. What? I should WASH this little stinky person? But why? I can just put perfume on it!

  3. this is insane... Why would a parent who chooses not to clean their baby, care if they smelled better with perfume. Insane...

  4. Something went horribly wrong during J&J's marketing research. That's all I have say.

  5. But baby smell is the best thing in the world!!! I love to sniff the top of a baby's head. It makes me soooo happy. Of course, assuming they're bathed in some regular fashion.

    But you're hysterical. I love your take on the parenting. Make me laugh more, Bethany. Please?

  6. No offense but I have to (lovingly) disagree. I don't wear perfume because I stink. I wear perfume because I like the smell of it. And yes I've been guilty of spritzing a little of my husband's cologne on my 2 year old because I like the smell of it. I also laugh because I actually own a bottle of J&J baby cologne and it's not half bad. ;o) hehehe