Dear Nathan, Nicholas, and Lucy,
You may notice this year that your Easter baskets are....um.....missing something this year. You have always had some form of Peeps in your Easter Baskets and, well, they just aren't there this year.
It's because a bird FLEW INTO THE HOUSE and opened the pantry and moved the spagetti sauce aside to open the tied bag of Easter candy and took ONLY the Peeps and then flew out! The whole time calling out, "Peeps! Peeps! Peeps!"
Wait...I have something better.
A pack of wild dogs came as me as soon as I opened the back of the car and they ripped open the bags from Target and TOOK ALL THE PEEPS! It was terrible and I barely escaped with my life.
Hang on-I've got more.
It was like a FORCE FIELD made all the mags magically float out of the shopping bags and into my mouth.
Dang it. I gave it away.
I'll make it up to you. Look for an abundance of Easter colored Whoppers. Just as good as Peeps. And they don't silently call out to the wildlife of San Diego to seek and consume.