If you come to my house, you will be more than welcomed. You will most likely be offered a seat on my amazing couch and you will be warned that 97% of people who sit on it end up asleep. You will be treated to some sort of oversized story from my son and either one of my daughters will bring you a book to read. You will, of course, also be offered a soda and encouraged to help yourself should you need another one during your visit. And then, if you excuse yourself to go to the bathroom, I will most likely holler down the hallway after you, "Sign The Book!"
"The Book" is our Bathroom guest book. You will find it in its own cute basket and I have regular pens and some fine point Sharpies as well. Inside the bathroom book you are encouraged to write a poem, tell a story, draw a picture or simply sign your name. It's weird, I know. But I have had a Bathroom Sign In Book for the last 9 years. There are 2 volumes and in the pages you can mark when people had babies, what house we were living in, what movie we were watching or even how my sister did on her recent online practice tests when she was in college. It was when I was reading through the bathroom book that I was reminded of my friend Carol driving me home from a minor procedure and having a bit of fun with me.
I had to have a simple in office biopsy done on the bottom of my tongue (everything was fine) and I'd had them all but knock me out completely. They also loaded me up so I would not be too uncomfortable. You have NO idea how much you move your tongue until something has been sliced off the bottom of it.
I was happy to be awake. I was not happy to be missing part of my tongue. I was happy to have had such a lovely and delightful nurse despite the fact that I had cried over this whole thing while in the recovery room.
"Carol, have you met my nurse Rachel? She's been so nice. So wonderful. so lovely."
"Hi Rachel, nice to meet you."
.......2 minutes pass and Rachel comes back to check in on me.....
"Oh Carol, have you met Rachel? She's been my nurse today. She's so nice."
"Hi Rachel, nice to meet you...again."
"Wait, did I already introduce you?"
.......another 2 minutes pass.........
"Carol, don't let me forget to introduce you to Rachel. She's been the sweetest and nicest nurse through this whole thing.
"Yes Bethany, I met Rachel. She's now a part of the family."
Carol told me it was then she realized that my short term memory was still asleep.
We were given instructions from my doctor which I promptly forgot.
"How often do you take your pain medicine Bethany?"
"1 every 2-4 hours."
Carol drove me home and that's when the real fun started...
"Bethany, I need you to help me remember something. Spencer needs milk. He's just a baby. It is so SO important that he gets his milk. Can you please help me remember to buy milk? For Spencer?"
"Oh yes Carol, I will help you remember." Except it came out more as nodding, drooling and grunting.
....one mile later.....
"I'm going to the grocery store, Bethany, what was I supposed to get?"
"Ohhh nooo. I don't remember!"
....pulling into my apartment.....
"Bethany, remember what I needed to get from the store?"
"Ummm, no. But did I introduce you to my nurse Rachel? She was just a wonderful person."
I am sure there will be more stories from the Bathroom book to come...stay tuned!!