"Miss, do you want to tell me what happened?"
"Yes, I do. I was walking along, minding my own business when suddenly the Sidewalk jumped out and GRABBED me! There was nothing I could do!"
"It was! And THEN, Gravity all of a sudden comes and pushes me to the ground! I was traumatized!"
"Miss, might I offer you 1 rainbow bandage and 1 Hello Kitty bandage?"
*Sniff* "I'm all better now. Thank you."
"Rest assured Miss, we have captured the culprits and put them on time out. They won't be harming you again."