Sunday, November 09, 2008

How Do I Write This Post Without Making it Sound Like a Poorly Made Adult Film?

While I was taking a shower the other day, I realized that I have been taking a shower the same way since high school. Start with washing and always start with the left arm. Let's break it down...

1. You have to start with washing because your hair is up so it doesn't get body soap in it.

2. Once you have rinsed, you can wash your hair.

3. After washing your hair, you condition your hair.

4. While the conditioner is soaking in and making your hair sleek and shiny so you can look like a Garnier Fructisse commercial (who has super long hair and ties it around things?) then it is time to wash your face.

5 and 6. Rinse, rinse hair and face.

7. And now you can choose from a myriad of shower bonus activities. (No, not that kind. Well, that kind if you wanna. And if you are married.) You could shave, you could apply a form of extra conditioner, the possibilities are endless!

Showers are wonderful.

While doing Step 4 the other day, I accidentally got a little bit of face wash in my nose. Not a terrible thing except my face wash is this stuff with a cooling sensation on it so the rest of the day, it felt like I was walking around with a Halls Cough Drop shoved up my nostril. Quite unpleasant.

The lesson today, kids?
Be careful with your face wash and don't date boys who will tie your hair to a metal railing. it's just weird.


  1. I am sooo not kidding when I say that you should write a book!!! Have you ever read "Confessions of a Slacker Mom"? It soo reminds me of you when I read it but you are even funnier!
    I am not kidding--write a book about your happenings with your kids and just will have Moms laughing all over the place!

  2. I. AM. THE. SAME. WAY!!! (Minus the Halls feeling in my nose.)

  3. While I, too, have showered the same way forever, my same way is not the same way as yours.

    Funny to think of you with a cough drop nose, though.

  4. THis reminds me of Terrence from the Amazing Race- did you see him on Sunday night and how utterly ridiculous he was complaining about the powder being up his nose??
    Can they get booted off already?