Friday, November 09, 2007


I will let you all know that Nathan's hand/fingers are doing much better today. We are down to needing only 1 band aid for his "tall finger" (middle) which he will hold up all on its own for you to look at.
Just try not to laugh.

This morning, I woke up to the realization that for our adventure yesterday, I had used all 4 of the very last pieces of bread (including the heels) to make sandwiches. Therefore, I had no bread for Nathan's lunch at school today. This being the day I gain 1 more child, the extra hour of "two kid-ness" that lunch bunch gives me was a necessity. I decided to compromise my morals-that's right, I said MORALS-and purchase for Nathan a.......gulp.....Lunchable. Ugh. These things have something like 3 times the daily sodium required for a salt block licking cow. Their general nutritional value is almost non-existent. But, the hour was needed. I was desperate.

When we got to school, Nathan saw his friend Caleb in the parking lot. "Hey Caleb!" He called out, in his loudest of voices. "I don't have my lunch bucket today! Mommy bought me a lunch like Sally and Joey* bring. you know, the ones that are bad for your insides!"

And then, in the same breath, best announcer voice possible he continued: "Caleb, see my band aids? I didn't get an owie from falling down. I got it because my Mommy slammed my fingers in the car door in the middle of the night at Disneyland!"

Double Sigh.

Continuing on with the story of my day...

The little kids were eating lunch when the announcement was made by Nick that he had to go poop. He was released and sent on his way. When he called for me about 10 minutes later, in tears, I checked on him. And without going into too much detail, lets just say that almost every inch of toilet seat, stool used to reach said toilet seat and large sections of floor were covered in the poop. He was terrified and had clearly tried to clean up whatever it was had happened in there that I think might involve his adorably short legs and difficulty getting his pants in the proper pooping position. He got a baby wipe bath, Nemo chonies (yay!), and a big snuggle from his B-Anthony.

Only 2 hours passed when Lucy and I were sitting in our chairs and reading books when she all of a sudden stood up and said, "Mommy, I have stinkies in my Thinking Chair."
I found myself again in a bathroom (this time the upstairs one) with a slightly embarrassed (and yet slightly delighted at the delay in her fast approaching naptime) child. She also got a baby wipe bath, Princess Pull Up and a snuggle from Mommy.

I was on the phone later with my friend Michelle (mother to 2 very pre-adolecent boys) as we laughed about this story when she said it: "It's when I hear stories like this from you that I am glad I never had the baby I thought I wanted 2-3 years ago."

I am so happy to provide such a service for her.

*=names changed...maybe their family has a severe sodium deficiency and Lunchables are needed to keep them alive?


  1. oh... that definately made me laugh- kids .....just when you think you want to strangle them they make you laugh out aloud...kristen

  2. Oh, my goodness, my poor Beth. What a day you had.

  3. Dear Bethany-

    I really enjoy your writings and I love the way you can change rather stinky and unpleasant situations into humorous ones! You are not only "enjoying" the moments, but creating lasting memories for you and your children! I wish I had done that as I get into old age, my memories of events are often hazy and even non-existant! Keep on with these wonderful writings!



  4. This one got a loud snort.
    Nate's timing and word selection is fabulous. hehehe
    OH, and I am with Michelle. :)

  5. Well, I guess you now know Nathan listened when you gave him the lesson on sodium. It is nice to know your conversation is not falling on deaf ears LOL.

    Hope your day today finds all poop in its proper place.

    Love ya

  6. wait a minute- lunchables are bad for kids?
    hee-hee. I totally thought you were referencing the golden arches- have you ever seen kids at lunch bunch show up with that? How lucky would he/she be!

    Sorry about the poop- it's pretty gross, eh??

  7. Wow. What's wrong with me though? I think I still want kids. That's because I'm delusional! I don't think I'll ever have to deal with displaced poop.