I Treasure You People

All of our shows are saying goodbye (for the summer) and it made me think of one of the best ever goodbyes on Television. I credit my parents for teaching me what "good television" is by raising me on the classics. While you start off laughing, it only takes 1 sentence spoken by Lou Grant to have you in tears. But the Mary Tyler Moore Show wouldn't leave you crying for long. And "It's a Long Way to Tipperary" is now part of television history.

I Also Tax Their Halloween Candy

The kids indulged in individual boxes of Animal Crackers this afternoon and you know what I love?




That little bit of lemon the "crackers" have to them...

...and how the taste stays deliciously in your mouth long after you have eaten the 10 you made your kids give you out of their own boxes of crackers.

Pimping Myself Out For Free Stuff

A present! A present! I love getting mail!

The way to my heart is to send me things in the mail-really. I will be yours forever. Send me garbage: if it has something interesting to read on it, I will adore it. But THIS was NOT garbage and I reminded myself that I needed to not let the fact that it was delivered to my doorstep sway my unbiased opinion.

Super cute dress in the mail from Kenneth Cole for me to review. Drop waist bubble skirt and jersey like t-shirt style on top. The bubble skirt caught my attention because while I do not think they are all that flattering on grown ups, on my sweet already bubble butted baby they are adorable. (Note how even the hairiest of children will still look attractive in this dress!) The design on the skirt was a brown pattern with a little bit of pink to it which is perfect should your fur or teddy bear nose be the same pink hue.. Adorable-the faint pink was a surprise when I pulled the outfit out of the plastic. I couldn’t try it on my sweetie girl since she is still in newborn sizes but I do know that once she is big enough, it will be worked into the wardrobe cycle. The outfit also came with a hat-sun hat style with a nice wide brim. The fabric was soft enough and the dress doesn’t look like it will lose its shape when washed.

It is missing a diaper cover-or "fanny pants" as we call them in our house. With a dress for a baby who is 6-9 months, I need something to cover up the nappies. I wish the white of the jersey and the white of the linen skirt "matched" but I think that's impossible. And, honestly, that's just me being picky! My favorite part of the whole outfit was the overall styling-it had a sophisticated look for a baby dress and I liked that a lot. Well done Kenneth Cole.

You can mail stuff to me anytime!



(PLEASE forgive the quality of the photo...had to use the camera phone this time.)

Happy Blogaversary To Me!

Yesterday was my Blogaversary. A word I wish I had come up with and that always makes me think of when Monica and Chandler go to Vegas and Monica says they can have their "plane-aversary."

I have been writing for 3 years now. 3 years of sharing waaay too much information. Even this year alone is example enough of the TMI...

Hey Internet! Look at my pee!
Internet, I make inappropriate jokes about dead grandmothers!
Well looky there, I talk about bodily functions again!
Isn't my husband amazing, Internet?
Remember when I stalked someone? Ha! Good times.
Dear Internet, I like to write letters.
And don't forget there was the Biggest Surprise of the Year
Oh yeah, and I did this last year.

And how did the Internet reward me for my loyal blogging? It paid me. (I got my first check from BlogHer yesterday. Which is a completely tacky thing to bring up. But don't you come here for all the tacky?)

Hope you stick around for more...

Amish-ly Redeemed

I have come to the conclusion that ANY bread that involves coating your pan in sugar and cinnamon can NEVER be messed up. Yum.

3 bags to give away...who's in?

Shortly After That, I Was Officially Shunned

I am a disgrace to the Amish Community.

Last week, I was given a Ziploc bag of goo containing the makings of Amish Friendship Bread. I was also given instructions that, after careful examination, looked like something I could handle. Mush the mag for, like 6 days, add a bunch of stuff, mush more days and then divide the mix and bake the bread.

(Sidenote: Can someone PLEASE explain to me how it is OK to mix up milk and sugar and flour and leave it sitting on my kitchen counter for days? I mean, this kind of goes against everything I know about cooking.)

The week followed with my brilliant husband asking me questions that cracked him up:
"Did you fondle your bag today?"
"Don't forget to squeeze your sack!"
I can't believe I just typed any of these out, I will stop.

Tonight I had to add the final ingredients, divide the mix and then bake the bread. Perfect for a Friday night. You can't use any metal utensils though. No big deal for me but the whole time I was tempted to toss my whisk in to see if the dough might explode or if I would suddenly find myself with a kitchen full of Amish people telling me how I was literally using the tools of the devil to make their beloved bread.

I added eggs, milk, vanilla...whoops-I put in twice as much cinnamon, well, it will just be very cinnamonny...sugar, baking powder-what? That was SUPPOSED to be baking powder but I put in baking SODA. Now I have twice the soda I need in so lets go ahead and toss in the right amount of baking powder too. Flour. Flour, flour.....ummm. I have 3/4 cup of flour and I need 2 cups. Hmmm, whole wheat flour will just have to do.

So to recap, that is twice the cinnamon, twice the baking soda and 1 1/4cups of whole wheat flour. Niiiice.

The bread is baking right now. I won't be going to bed until I sample my personal creation of Amish Friendship Bread. Maybe my version will be the kind you only give to your enemies. OR, it just might be the loaf you give to your best friend.




My hubby would laugh at the word loaf.

Swing Away, Nate

He is playing quietly, Luke Skywalker battles the Storm Troopers in a quiet dance on the kitchen table.

She walks over to him and, in a classic younger sister manner, snatches Luke right out of his hands and walks away.

He does what any older brother can do and yells:

"You...you BOSTON RED SOCK!"




That's telling her.

The One Where My Insides Jump Out and Run Laps Around Me

Biiiig photo shoot this weekend. A fundraiser for a local church's playgroup. I did a session for them last year at Christmastime. Two days, 14 families with some SUPER cute kids.

Best part so far? The over 100 degree temperatures we are having right now in Poway. And it is supposed to be even hotter tomorrow. Yay.

Anyway...after a break this afternoon, I was leaving to head back to the park. Grabbed the camera bag and ran for the door. It was then I heard the most sickening of sounds. It sounded like my heart breaking. And somewhere a few miles away at a T-Ball field, David was suddenly dizzy for no reason: The camera fell out of the bag and onto our kitchen tile.

I dropped to my knees immediately to survey the damage.

Flash? Looked good.

Battery? Everything was there.

Camera? I picked it up and staring back at me was a quartet of cracks running across the filter attached to our lens. I was sure the crack ran all the way through the lens and up into my heart.

The phone call I had to place to David was...well, I didn't like doing it. I might as well have been calling him to let him know Nathan had broken his leg. If Nathan was a camera and cost a bunch of money. Oh, and if we carried Nathan around in a backpack.

To make a long couple of hours short, after working hard to remove the filter from the lens, David was finally successful and-praise God-the lens itself was completely unharmed.

So what's the lesson here, kids?
1. Don't drop your camera.
2. Don't drop your camera.
3. If you drop your camera, build a time machine and go back in time and then UN drop your camera.

Coffee? Tea? Oui!

It took her over an hour to set everything up. But once her spread was complete-the guests lacked for nothing.




There were fresh flowers...from Mommy's potted plants outside........




Ice cream was abundant........

We had reading material........

And pancakes!
Yes, it's a breast pad.
Yes, Lucy calls them pancakes.
No, I don't have any left now.

Some of the honored guests included Baby Princess Belle, a Cabbage Patch Lil' Sprout, My Little Pony....

And, our sweet Ella Girl.

It was the yummiest tea party ever that ended with dancing to original music played by our delightful hostess who also demanded that we dance.
We obliged.

Where's My Salt?

Happy Mother's Day!

I am winding down my day watching the Survivor Finale (shhh, I don't know who won yet!) and everyone in my house is upstairs asleep. Ahhhh...that brings me such bliss. This is where I decide if I want to stay up all night, watch TV and pay for it tomorrow or do I go to bed and get the rest I need? Hmmmmmm.

Mother's Day was a nice one-started things waking up around 7 and realizing that I had slept all night long! Ella didn't wake up once (or if she did, she didn't state her case loudly enough to wake me up) and I had my first full night's sleep in months. Thank you Ella.

I told David that he should be thankful we go to church because then he doesn't have to get the kids together to make things for me. Lucy brought me the sweetest bunch of pipe cleaner and construction paper flowers she had colored-it melted my heart. I think I will keep them forever.

Nathan brought me a snail.

Seriously, a snail.

And I'm not even talking about something he found in a nearby bush. His Sunday School teacher gave it to him. In a cup. He was so excited to show me-as it was trying to JUMP OUT OF THE CUP AND ATTACK ME! It was going for my throat-honestly. I informed him-Nathan, not the snail, I don't talk to snails-that if he did not keep the snail IN the cup I was going to KILL THE SNAIL. I am not kidding, I looked my 5 year old in the eyes and meant every word I said.

Thank you Mrs. Yvonne, Sunday School teacher. Thank you for sending a SNAIL home for Mother's Day. I asked Nathan WHY we now had a snail as a part of our family...why had Mrs. Yvonne given everyone snails? He was quiet for awhile and told me, "I guess she wanted all of us to have a pet!"

The snail's name is Carlsbad Alexander Zabrosky. And Carlsbad is pronounced "carls-BAD" because he is BAD for trying to get out of the cup. As of right now, he is residing in a water bottle. He is expected to make it through the night but most likely not the week.

Oh, and have I told you all how I hate snails?

Well, at least I didn't crush the thing. My future daughter-in-law Alexis gave her daddy her teeny tiny baby snail to hold along with some potted flowers Mrs. Yvonne had also given the kids. (I didn't see the flowers when Nathan handed them to me-all I could see was the snail.) Damon took the potted flower's cup and dropped it into the snail's cup. Needless to say, both the snail and Alexis were crushed. Nathan was incredibly upset on behalf of his friend (and future bride.) I tried to get him to give her his snail but apparently his love for her just doesn't go that far.

Darn it.

Poke the Bear With a Stick

I kinda woke up on the grumpy side of the bed today.



But I think that's because the grumpy side had a five year old standing there who was calling out the time to me as each minute passed.

Him: Mommy, it's 6:03.

Me: Nathan, go away.

Him: Mommy, now it's 6:04.

Me: Nathan, if you know what is good for you, you will go away. NOW.

Him: Mommy, it's 6:05 and it's our park day today.

Me: GROWL!!



All together now....

Ten on Tuesday

1. It concerns me that the nightly airings of "Friends" feature ads for Boniva on a regular basis. I guess it's better than the ads for solutions to clinical depression that they used to run. Therefore, according to Channel 13, "Friends" fans aren't depressed anymore-our bones just might shatter into dust.

2. Monday has been my favorite day of the week for a long time because of band rehearsal (and goofing off with Russell) but since adding the Thursday Park Date with new friends I met through Nathan's school, Monday is gonna need to step up it's game.

3. I have a cleaning bug. The bad news is that it seems to last for about 15 minute periods. The good news is that is strikes multiple times a day.

4. Last night while getting frozen yogurt (aka "yooooooooogurt") Amy had to remind me that I was married and 31. And that my yogurt server could not be my new boyfriend. It was at second glance that I realized I was seeing him through yogurt covered glasses. And that he was probably jailbait.

5. Today I don't want to be the Parent....I want to be the Fun Aunt or Babysitter or Grandma.

6. I don't understand Toejam (or, as a friend's daughter calls it, Toe Jelly) in babies. Where are they walking around to get get all that junk inbetween their toes?

7. Kindergarten Registration is tomorrow.

8. Tomorrow is also the day I break down and cry over the fact that I have a Kindergartener.

9. The water bottles on my nightstand have organized themselves...


10: And, apparently, THEY ARE ALSO REPRODUCING!

So, Yesterday Happened

It all started with trying to sleep an extra 20 minutes while simultaneously teaching a 5 year old how we don't wake up someone who is sleeping IF WE WANT TO KEEP OUR PRETTY LITTLE FACES. I gave up and went downstairs to brown a bunch of beef for tacos and while I was doing that, Nathan ran downstairs to tell me that Lucy had written all over her bedroom walls. I went up to investigate and she had, indeed, written in pencil all over her walls. Again. After decorating my washing machine with purple marker that even Mr. Clean's Magic Eraser could not fix only 4 days earlier.

She had also pooped her pants and was officially in the running for the role of my favorite child.

As I dealt with all of those things, I heard a sharp cry come from downstairs where Nathan had somehow woken up the baby who had been sleeping very peacefully and now that she was awake, she was mad. And hungry. And told me as much.

I still had to finish preparing dinner and pack lunches for a playdate at the park that my kids did NOT deserve to attend. But since we were responsible for a friend who was meeting us there, we went anyway. I also had phone calls and text messages coming in like crazy with all sorts of nonsense and I was about ready to just take the baby (the only human in the house I liked at the moment) and leave to go to a nice quiet bookstore. Or Hawaii. I hadn't decided.

My friend Deanne texted me encouragement: "This is Survivor, lets vote the kids off the island." Amen, sister!



We made it to the playdate after I drove through Starbucks and treated myself to (iced venti soy green) tea (latte) and a donut. When the kids asked if they could have one, I said no. When they asked if they could have a piece, I said no. And when they made plans and decided that every Thursday Park Day they will get a donut starting next week, I said no. I stopped myself short of turning around and eating the donut while they watched and I most definitely didn't wave it under their noses so they could see how great it smelled. But that doesn't mean I didn't consider it.

I had a very nice time with my friend (but missed our other friends!) while our boys defended the fate of the galaxy playing light sabres with their bubble tubes. But no rest for the weary! I still had to go to Costco and deliver my dinners for Supper Swap which meant NO ONE was getting a nap that day. (And trust me, boy did I the KIDS really need the down time.)

We ran into Costco, ran around town delivering food and ran home. I made dinner for the big kids and looked on my counter to discover that the lettuce for the tacos I delivered was sitting on my kitchen counter. After the neighbors came over to watch the big kids, I hit the road and called the people I brought dinner to who all told me I was crazy for leaving the house again and to take my lettuce hauling butt and go back home.

Once David got home, we set out right away to get the big monsters into bed who were melting down quickly. While knocking the chunks off of Lucy and keeping Nathan from killing his baby sister with his love, David comes upstairs.

"Did you lose your wallet?"

(record scratch) "Whaat?!"

"I was checking the machine and some guy called about 4 times because he found your wallet. I called him back and it is definitely yours. Did you even know that you lost it?"

And to think, it was my WALLET I lost yesterday when all day I thought it was my MIND.

Family

You need to read this: One Thing: Stupid is as Stupid Does
I wish I had written it.


When I look around my house I see piles of laundry higher than normal, kitchen floors that used to be white and dishes that need to be washed.

My InBox is loaded up with actual work that needs to be done, my photography site is highly neglected, my e-mail updates to my family far away have been too few and far between.

I think I may have worn the same shirt 3 days in a row, I need to comb my hair and someday I should get all the mail sorted and put away in the right place.

But then, I look in my lap. There is a ball of life smiling, cooing, streching, smacking her lips and grunting. Her fists thrash around in the air at me when she is angry and her toes curl when she is delighted. I spend almost all of my day looking at her. Holding her. Feeding her.

Let the toys go untidied, let the shoes reamin unpaired around the shoe basket, let the dinners be a steady diet of burritos and mac and cheese. Because I am holding an actual moment of time in my arms that I would not give up for anything. Besides, Nathan is here and he wants a peek, Lucy is on the arm of my chair sneaking a kiss and David is standing above me calling out the name of our family's newest obsession...

"Ella...Ella....Ella. We love you."

Ready, Set......

We open the fridge-there is no milk.
Where's the milk?
We need the milk!

It is 9:45pm on Sunday night and the race has begun:
Who can change into comfy clothes/pajammys first so THEY don't have to do the late night store run? (Last man standing fully dressed "gets" to go to the store.)

I will not be surprised to be lobbied with a change of rules in favor of a Rock-Paper-Scissors challenge upon David's return.

Needing a Dictionary

I have a new(ish) laptop and now when I play my favorite computer game, the finger-touch pad is calibrated differently and I am not getting the high scores I usually get.




I know, isn't my life a complete tragedy?

Be Clean and Be Green

Just because Earth Day is over, that doesn't give you the excuse to go out and be wasteful. So please allow me to offer you 1 simple Green Tip to carry you through the year....

Conserve Water: Shower With a Friend

It's fun and you never know what the outcome may be.....even 9 months later.

Hey Baby, You Stink

Seriously?
What are we....18th Century Europeans?!


The following is from New York Magazine...
Baby Cologne Sounds Like a Truly Appalling Product
In johnson & johnson



Sometimes babies smell. They wear diapers, they spit up, sh** happens (excuse the pun). But this is expected because they're babies. We'd guess there are few well-cared-for babies that smell so bad their moms and dads actually need to do something about it. We don't normally hang out with babies, but we can't say we've ever been in the presence of a child that smelled so bad we felt offended, and if we have, we doubt that child was in its infancy. After all, how bad can something so small smell? But Johnson & Johnson would like mothers to believe we're wrong and some babies smell offensively enough they need cologne, which is why they make Baby Cologne. Yes, really.


Here's the description that comes on the bottle:

Johnson’s Baby Cologne has a gentle, fresh fragrance with a pleasant combination of floral and citrus hints. It leaves your baby smelling clean and fresh. This clinically proven mild formula is alcohol free, making it just right for your baby's delicate skin.


According to Spoiled Pretty, it smells terrible. But isn't cologne meant to be smelled up close, which would mean that really only the people who are holding the baby would be able to smell it, which should be parents, with the rare exception? We don't know a lot about parenting or anything, but if parents think their baby smells so bad they need cologne, well, that just doesn't sound like a warm, nurturing relationship that leads to happy 12-year-olds. We wonder if things like this are why 8-year-olds go on diets these days.

Johnson's Baby Cologne [Spoiled Pretty]

Strike a Pose

My sweetie schmoopsie poopsie snugglekins is getting so very big. I do apologize for the silly baby talk but in all seriousness, she is sooooooooo cute. (Now that is some quality writing right there. Instead of making use of the English language, I will just keep adding "o's" to the end of the word "so." I am a literary genius.)

I staged a little photo shoot for our sweet Ella Bella the other day in hopes of getting something I could use for a baby announcement. (Coming soon! Before she turns 11, I promise!) I bribed Lucy to be my assistant with the promise of her own photo shoot afterwards and did everything I could to keep Nathan...just away.

Anyway, I am not sure if I will use them or not but I have been sitting on these for so long and I just can't keep them to myself any longer. Enjoy.

Do you have a favorite?

Where "Be Careful what You Pray For" is Clearly Illustrated

When Lucy first came to our family, we made sure that Nathan learned how to "be soft" with his new sister. We reminded him to have "soft touches" when he'd get close. This point was especially reinforced one day when I left the baby in the middle of the room on a blanket, ran upstairs and came back to find no baby. But Nathan was laying flat in the middle of the blanket--ON TOP OF HIS SISTER.

As Lucy grew, so did her will. And strength. An determination. We found that she didn't quite need the protection she needed only a few months before. In fact, we often turned out heads and let her throw a punch every now and then. But as time went on, it became clear that Lucy was fully capable of issuing a full sized smackdown of her own. It was Nathan who needed the protecting this time.

Now that Nathan is a full foot taller than Lucy, the tables are back where they were. He's a strong boy and has learned some moves while wrestling his friends. He's often reminded he's the biggest and strongest and needs to be more careful when he is playing. And when dealing with his sister, we have found that for every new move Nathan has learned, Lucy has learned the art of crying and how best to use her tears.

Last week, we had a bout a million errands to run before a park playdate. I hopped out of the car for a minute and returned to a sobbing Lucy and Nathan who was saying, "Sorrysorrysorrysorrysorry! I'm so sorry!" Hmmm. What happened? Lucy pulled Nathan's arm. So he pulled it back.

We drove to the park to meet our friends. Lucy was still complaining about her arm and when we got out of the car, she started sobbing about it. My friend-who knew a bit about hurt arms-suggested it was Nursemaid's Elbow and offered to set it back but Lucy was crying so hard, we decided we'd just keep an eye on it while I fed the baby before doing anything.

I watched Lucy Joy: Professional Playground Junkie walk around the park for an hour and not play on anything. She held her arm, she'd come over and snuggle me. She even attempted to eat raisins out of a box one handed while walking. It was possibly the saddest thing I had ever seen. And, more importantly, she was not using her arm at all. I called the doctor and got an appointment for about 2 hours later.

By the time I got to the doctor’s office, Lucy still wasn’t feeling well. When we got out of the car, she was still very sad.

When we got to the waiting room, I noticed she was holding her bag of goldfish with the bad arm.

And by the time we were in the examination room, she was SWINGING HER ARMS ABOVE HER HEAD and singing.



Sigh.

I think she possibly popped it back when she was getting out of the car when she had it in this weird position and it kind of got “caught” on the back of the front seat. Because even my own daughter isn't THAT good as an actress.

I was mad at first that I was sitting there in the doc’s office with a perfectly healthy (and quite obnoxious since she hadn’t had a nap) daughter. But then I remembered that on the way to the office, I had prayed that the visit would not be traumatic, painful or upsetting to her.





It definitely wasn’t.